Friday, December 10, 2010


So why is it so down right hard to tell our stories when we are “truly” lonely?

Being alone in a crowded room even among friends while chatting and having a good time.
Being out in the sunshine on a beautiful day, feeling that dark cloud of emptiness hanging over your head.
Now that's what I know, lonely really is!

How could it be possible? Why? Why do I feel this way?
Makes no sense at all...

I have to wonder, could that be the reason it's next to impossible to say or express how we feel and tell the story.
If it makes no sense to us, we probably feel it will make no sense to anyone else!
We may get the feeling that anyone we talk to or reads our story will think we're nuts.
(Now me, OK, I am, but it keeps me smiling...and often others enjoy that and smile along)

Heck, who out here in this big wide world would even think they know us anyway.
Takes a lot more than just words to really know a person...

Yah, you can if reading with an open heart, get a feel for what a person is like but... You still can in no way really know who or what they are. What are they live and up close?

If they all think I'm just a darned old fool, so what. Maybe that's part of me.
If they think I'm pathetic. Oh well, their entitled to their thoughts.
If they think I'm silly. Hey maybe what I've said has made them smile. What could be wrong with that.

Most of the time though if I put my story, feelings, whatever, on paper or on this silly computer for the world to read, or even just tell someone. I feel a bit lighter. Feel like I better understand my own situation...
If someone doesn't want to hear it they can turn the page. Walk away... I understand.

Just maybe, someone, somewhere, needs to hear that their not alone. That there is someone else in a similar situation. That does help me get out of a deep funk sometimes.
Possibly someone needs a laugh.
Most possibly, I may need to see my thoughts and feelings to help find a way to change and grow. To try and heal that which has caused me to feel this way...

Today though, I'm lonely.
But I really hope with all my heart, that someone, somewhere feels even a tiny bit better, because I've shared my lonliness through these words!
How about you, are you?
How do you deal with lonleyness?

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