Friday, April 29, 2011

A Fulfilled Want

I was out taking a ride on the four wheeler a few weeks ago an a warm beautiful spring day. I wanted to show a friend what I see. A friend who lives very far away and can't just come and see.
I still want my friend to see, but I would also like all my visitors and followers to see as well. I guess I'm just sort of silly that way. So here it is.
It was still early spring, so much of the landscape is still brown and only beginning to awaken from it's long winters rest.

You can click on the pictures to see them full size!

This ride has become a regular. I did used to walk it, but walking is harder now, so I ride.

This is a view of home from a neighbors field. That tree line is the property line, but neighbors love to share what is theirs as much as I do with them. We ride each others property with respect for each others fields and crops by riding along the edges of fields.

I moved back along my neighbors field a bit to show what a view towards the north and across some of my fields looked like. Next I'll go to the right in the field ahead.

This is at the back of that field looking west, back towards the house.

I've riden through the backs of the fields on the east, then through a trail through the woods and am now at the northeast corner of another field. That's the pine trees and top of the house looking southwest from here.

Here I've riden up to about the middle of the field you saw last to show this northwest view of the mountains.

This is the same spot looking southwest.

Again from the same spot looking south towards the side of the house.

Same spot again but looking north

I've driven across the road and here is another view to the west.

A little better view of the southwest from here.

East from here.


More towards the south. That lonely pine tree standing among hardwoods just right of center, is where I started taking these pictures this from.

Once again I've headed west. As you begin to crest the hillside this is another view towards the southwest.

As I rode across the bottom field there were two deer here. But, by the time I got the camera and could take a picture they left. Guess they really don't like having their pictures taken. This to though is a part of the farm that isn't really used much anymore. It extends behind those trees off in the distance.
I do have a trail there that we will come to.

Here we enter into a small three acre field that begins to form an L in the shape of this place. That big brown spot on the left is another field we will come to. But as wet as it is I'll have to go back to the road to get there.

While taking the road I stopped above the back yard of my daughter and son on law's house to show what they can see of home from there. From their actual back yard though the view isn't this good.

That field I pointed out two pictures back. This is what home looks like from it's farthest corner. That small field just left of center is where I took that picture before.

This is the road I call a trail across the back of the woods in the bottom. I always felt a way to drive through this was a good idea. But no one else did. So after I finally became the owner and my two youngest kids got older, we began our quest to build this road. There are three springs that formed deep ditches over the years. We worked hard putting in pipe and then filling them enough to get through, but it is so worth the effort. It's just so calm and beautiful here and so cool in the hottest of summer.

As a boy this was a hike. That green spot under the trees was always worth the effort though. It is where I would hide to escape the world and read, think and relax on hot afternoons and even warm ones. This still is my favorite refuge when the world closes in and begins to make me feel troubled.
It's not at all unusual to be visited by deer and bunnies while sitting quietly here and thinking. The smells of the woods and nearby bottom and creek, along with the sounds of nature are here to calm and soothe the soul. Unless it's hunting season you never see another person to disturb you either.
I had thought about building myself a little cabin or house here, but realized that would just ruin it. No that grass forms a real comfy blanket to lay on and is as perfect as tranquility could be.

Coming back out I stopped again at the corner of that last field. This is the ground I gave to my daughter and son in law because farming is in the blood and they really seem to want to and seem to appreciate the beauty and all it holds dear and I believe they will take good care of it.
These fields are also the fields I was working in when the inspiration for my poem, Deer Reunion, came to me. That fawn was laying in wait for it's mother in the farthest left here.

Hope you enjoyed the picture tour! And hey, I'll try and do it again when everything is green and the trees have grown their leaves for the year.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Pretty Look

Again I heard someone ask about looks being the deciding factor in finding a potential mate.

As I point out, teens and young adults are all cute, handsome and pretty. But because they have no real wisdom, why else would anyone want them and the human race would probably cease to exist if that were not so. To many young minds can not realize there is so much more in the desirable qualities of a mind that has gained knowledge of life and has come to some understanding of life.

Real passion comes from the mind. Not looks. The beginnings of that also comes from the mind. The mind becomes stimulated before anything else. No mental stimulation and nothing else will come. Real pretty looks only bring on shallow stimulation. Same for love. Love based on cute looks may be cute love but nothing more.

Maybe this is where someone who is blind would have a great advantage over those of us who believe we see. We see the surface. Then it becomes a job to see what is below the surface because now we need to put what we see aside. If we don't, we become heartbroken and are left only to see the lack of depth of the person.

You may see a cute cup, but even though it's cute it may be made cheaply of cheap materials. How could that cup safely hold your favorite drink? Same could be asked for a cute person. If they are not made of good teachings and wisdom how could they safely hold your love?

I hear people all over asking why the divorce rates are growing so high.
Could it possibly be that people don't really take the time to learn the person they're with? Maybe that is why there used to be those long engagements before marriage. It does take time to really know some one and how they really think.

Even lies can't last forever. Eventually liars are found out by their own words. Something my mother used to say. Give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves... Makes perfect sense now, but when younger I never quite got that. Hmm, imagine that, mom was right???

But no... Today we live in a society that is in such a hurry to have everything right now. Yet by having what we desire at the drop of a hat we find ourselves unhappy when we find it's not really what we want. Only what we got by not looking carefully at quality. That can be the same for things or people!

I personally can't help but wonder if moms and dads don't help feed this hurt. By giving everything that children want, when they want, we feed the dependence of that immediate gratification. Then when children do get what they want they find there is really no satisfaction.

I thank my parents and grandparents who left me know that my basic needs were free, but what I wanted would need to be earned. By having to earn them I had to learn to look for quality or be hurt. Having to work to earn made that a more important lesson.

I did get some free wants. As gifts for Christmas and birthdays. But not every thing I wanted. Most had to be bought by me with money I earned. I also learned that thing called patience. Now that's something we don't see enough of today.

So smile today as you see impatient people scurrying about in a hurry to fulfill their desires. Smile and be glad your not one of them...

So what do you think? Don't be afraid to comment and share. We grow by sharing and learning.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Respect What

Often we hear about respect. Respect is a good thing to practice and to teach our children.

Having respect for things that belong to others is essential to having a fun life and not hurting others or making others sad. Simply if it's not yours it belongs to someone else. It may be their prize possession and give them a lot of joy and happiness.

Because of a lot of local news I see I'll also say, it may be something they need and use for work to earn a living for their families. Big equipment can be fun to operate and use in an appropriate way. Taking that big equipment and destroying other big equipment with it or taking it for a joy ride down the road and destroying buildings and businesses is not so much fun when your caught. You will pay for the crime of theft and will be made to pay for what you have destroyed. You will also have a black mark against your reputation.
It's sad that I see so much of this in the news lately...

Respect for others is not something that is just a given. Respect must be earned. You do something to hurt others you do not deserve respect. That black mark against your reputation will follow you and mess up your future. You could have a very hard time finding a decent job. Part of decisions for hiring someone is their reputation. A good reputation can take years to build and one simple stupid moment can destroy that and leave you having to start all over, but below the bottom.

We often hear we should teach our children to respect. Way to often though we hear this from people who do not earn respect. Many are mean nasty grumpy people who even I can not respect, but rather just tolerate and do my best to stay away from.

Teaching our children to respect things that are not their own is without a doubt, one of the best things we can teach. Teaching to respect that others are different and we can accept that is good. But I question teaching respect for people. Doing that leaves confusion in a mind. Why should anyone respect someone who makes them feel unsure or bad? Makes them feel their life is in danger? Or even some who would abuse?

We try to keep our children from talking to strangers, then turn around and try to teach them to respect everyone. That sounds confusing to even me...

Respect has variables. I'm sure you can think of many on your own.
Even some Priests have shown they deserve no respect, but must be watched with wary eyes... Some Police have been found who do bad things and do not deserve respect. Even some teachers. These jobs and titles deserve respect, but the people who have them don't. That respect must still be earned.

This is confusing for adults who have minds that already have learned, experienced and grown. So how hard is it for children that are told just to respect?

Maybe it sounds a bit cynical... Maybe it is. Maybe some great writer should if they could, write a book about respect and try and clarify some teachings we should be doing. Maybe someone has and I just haven't heard of it.

But in the mean time, maybe we should consider before teaching our children about respect, then teach them a little more clearly about it. Ugh... Another thing that will take a lot of thought and work. But it may well be worth it. Our children will have a little less confusion to work out for their self.

As for those that I hear saying you should teach your children respect... I think I'm gonna start telling them while looking them in the eyes, You will get what you earn and deserve.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Fed Up With Prices And Cons

Read a great post on Saturday morning. A post on The Clumsy Mumsy In Stilettos site. You can read it here

I'm not anti business. I'm not anti Union.
When first staring out in life as an older teen and young adult I had union jobs. They were in factories though and I was an outdoors kinda guy. Being in a building all cooped up did not interest me. Worked many other jobs and still didn't find satisfaction. They made waking up and going to work nothing but a pain I had to endure just to have money to live. Eventually I got an idea to start a business of my own. I liked construction so why not. I did and did well enough to keep bills paid, save a little, have fun and still grow as a business. That business went under my own name. I made some mistakes over the years, but fixed them. I had pride in what I did and the business. Also had the side effect of enjoying waking up and going to work.

So many, but not all, businesses today are only doing business to make their whopping bottom lines bigger and make their CEO's and share holders nice fat pay checks. They con us, the consumers, with all their fancy ads making their products look like the thing we cannot live without. Show us prices that sound affordable. Then when we get the bill we learn there are “hidden fees?” and charges, bringing the total cost to astronomical heights. Many times the products don't last or are defective.

Like Clumsy Mumsy pointed out in an earlier blog, when you call to complain and get some of the hidden charges explained or un asked for charges taken off for services we didn't order... You get the runaround.
You can waste an entire day of your life. You still may not get anywhere. Truly seems they hope you will just give up and pay the price they want.

I am not a consumer! I am a customer. As such you should appreciate me enough to respect me. If not I will not be a return customer nor will I be telling anyone to try your product. I will be warning them against doing business with you.

Then there are the prices. A lot of those prices are pushed higher by unions. Unions had and still do have a good purpose. They protected workers from being taken advantage of. They got the employees who were in the union a decent wage and benefits. Then however, they became just like big business. Their greed pushed prices higher and caused a bigger rift between we the common people and the people who make enough money to pay for the expensive products.

Then somewhere around the late 70's and early 80's I began to hear, buy products made in the USA and support the American workers. They even had a pretty little American flag on logo's to inspire patriotism.
Uh hu. Just another fancy con job...

With the difference in prices the average Patriotic American can afford and what big business and the unions want to charge, we the Patriotic Americans are not that dumb and can not afford your products.
We have families to feed. Homes that are either rented or bought. Clothes that need purchased. Doctor bills to pay when our children get hurt or are sick. Also many other things that eat up our pay checks that may only at best, be half of what you make. We simply can not afford to buy your expensive products. Nor do we want to buy products you will not stand behind and then have you try to hide when we want you to stand behind them.

We the intelligent Patriotic Americans demand products that are affordable and have the best quality we can afford to pay for.

You want us to buy American made? Get your heads out of your rumps and learn who we really are, here below your ivory towers. Also teach your telephone warriors who keep you separated from us about the ins and outs of your products and your change and return policies. You look kinda dumb when we call and have to spend an entire day just to get a simple answer or satisfaction. We don't need to come back to you.

It was people who became angry with an uncaring selfserving government that were the first American Patriots and rebelled then created the United States of America.
We the descendants of the first American Patriots and all the wonderful people who have come since and are welcome to this county with open arms, demand better.

We can, rebel again. This time with our wallets and intelligence...

Am I done with this? I certainly hope not, there is much more that should be said. If you agree with this, print it and give it to someone you know. Maybe we can begin to open the eyes and ears of uncaring business and start a change.

Monday, April 25, 2011

See And Do ?

Heard someone ask, but how do you see anything out in the middle of nowhere. Followed by what is there to do...
This year we're having and unusual year here. It's been pretty wet. Normally the snow melts and the ground dries up enough to work it before the April rains. So a little sun would be nice. But what do you see? What is there to do?

Winter, well I love looking across the huge fields of pristine snow. Even after a windy night and looking at fields of snow frozen in waves. Those waves look like waves of the ocean, frozen in time. The caps of the waves are rolled over and frozen in a timeless fall back to earth. Playing in the snow is fun. Simple sliding on your shoes after a short run. Sledding down hills. Snowmobiles. Even building a snow man and woman. One of the readers here sent a picture of two feet of snow. That I really want to try. It was really two feet fashioned of snow. That would give neighbors and snowmobilers a laugh as they go by! Wild animals in a desperate hunt for food.

Then spring, working in the fields, planting seed, watching things come to life and grow. The smell of fresh turned ground. Seeing the birds of summer return to treat you with songs and their play. Birds working real hard building their nests to start a new family. Their playful romance as they woo each other and build their desires. Trees shoot out their buds and begin to grow leaves, early flowers poke from their homes in the lawn. The feeling of warm sun driving winter cold from the bones. The new beginnings of life that spring brings each year. Now and the a bear traveling through as he hunts for food and a summer romance.

Then the sunny days of summer when you can play but still get work done. But my work always has been play to me. Walks through the cool woods with the trees reaching so high, yet shading you from summers blazing sun. Feeling the cool breeze while walking along hearing the forest floor rustle at your feet. Seeing rabbits, deer, pheasants, wood cocks, and all the wildlife hunting for a meal and playing. Having a gaggle of grouse flee to flight before your eyes when you spook them. Beautiful, but scary. They do sound like a squadron of helicopters when they burst from their cover. Wild turkeys scratching the ground in search of their next meal. There's the wildflowers of summer, the wild berries to be enjoyed while laying in the grass under a tree by a field. Watching cows grazing in the pastures. Seeing their young play. Seeing who is the leader today of the herd.

Hearing the roar of the tractor as it mows down a field of hay. The smells of the fresh cut hay. The sight of the hay laying in windrows so neat, waiting to be picked up to be stored. The sight of the breeze as it tickles those windrows. The trips round and round the fields as the hay is baled. Feeling the heat making you sweat as your loading and unloading that hay. Watching the barn get filled to the limits so there is enough hay to feed during the coming winter. Wading in a creek on a really hot day. Seeing the waves from the current and occasionally a fish swimming by.

Seeing the plants of the garden with all their tasty treats. Picking a red ripe tomato for a snack and having the juices running down your chin. Snacking on a fresh picked cucumber you snatched while walking by. Flower beds of beautiful flowers planted simply because they're pretty. Chasing away the pesky bunnies as they try to steal your bounty. Laying on your back for a rest on the ground and watching to see what shapes you may see in the clouds. Looking out over the tops of the mountains, letting your mind imagine all that might be there. Planes flying over as they take worried souls to their next destination.

But fall... All the beautiful color. Harvest time. Time for the fairs and seeing people you haven't seen for a year. Comparing the mental notes for the year. Sharing in all the good foods. Ooh, the smells, of those foods. Seeing kids play without a care. Smiling as parents try and chase them down. Working and playing in the crisp fall air, the smells of fall.

Guess there really isn't a time of year I don't love. I have only touched on what there is you might see. My friend, if your bored, if you can only see nothing while here, it is you who are so totally blind and can not feel.
Open you eyes and see all the beauty of this planet. Open your ears and hear all the music of birds and breezes as they blow, hear the sounds of people working, the sound of all life playing. Now close your eyes and taste what all this has to offer to fill your hungry soul.

May that taste be your smile for the day.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Scary Subject

I want a candy bar. I would like to feel the rich creamy chocolate smothering my tongue. The chewiness giving my teeth pleasure as I chew on it's softness. The mixture of flavors dancing across my taste buds giving even more pleasure as I chew and savor.

But that candy bar could be bad! Like we tell children, the truth is they cause cavities and are unhealthy. We know they can cause fat to form on our bodies. So we deny that wonderful thing. But our kids will eventually find a way to fulfill that desire. Yes, even wanting and needing a candy bar is a desire. Not! A need.

Traveling on through my silly mind we come to desires. I have some desire, if not all, rolled up with an understanding that gives me room to breathe. No longer do desires rule my life and world. Yet they still exist.

As an adult I do my best to stay open to young kids and teens. It's not to hard to be open with adults. But children... That can be tough. Well as adults when kids, I'm gonna use kids now as a generic term, ask some questions or are indicating in some way they are thinking along a particular line, we tend to tell them, just say no! You don't do that until you are in love and married.
Some... will not even go that far. They try to ignore it and pretend it will not exist. I'm pretty sure now you know what I speak of...

Well, it does exist. Has and always will. If as parents we don't discuss it, someone will. Who that someone may be, could be the difference of good learning or bad. Could be the difference between good behavior and bad. Could even be the difference of a life of joy or sadness. It should not be ignored! If we do ignore it will be seeked out and explored anyway.

So I try and stay open with kids. Depending on the age, makes the difference with what I will say. Very young most times do not need details. Just a simple brief explanation and warning. We know the potential risks and outcomes so we should relate them as warnings.

Older kids... when I stay open with them seem to accept me and we can talk. I still observe the eye rolls, but they hear. Many times they will, in a snarky way, ask questions. Them too I will try and answer in the bast way I can find.

First thing outta my mouth though. DO NOT DO IT. Followed by all the warnings I can think of, from STD's to birth. But then I go on and talk with them about it. Not all the details but more the way it can affect them. The way it can become addictive. The many ways it can and will bring heartbreak and pain.

You can not stop it. So ya gotta deal with it in the best way possible. Just get up all your courage and wisdom, and a whole lot of patience, and talk to them. Make sure to include it's a desire, not a need.

But even though I'm a bit beyond those desires myself. They do still exist. I do not want those desires to bring more heartbreak into my life.
I believe that being beyond the need. One could enjoy even more the fulfillment of those desires. Should the possibility arise, I wonder if I would even have the courage to find out.

Yes, that is something that should be reserved for the married. But that too is another thing that's easy for someone who is married to say. There are some who feel it's immoral. Hope they can stand on that should their day come.
I'm on the other side of that. So I'm left wondering, and yes worrying.
Could two consenting adults with eyes and minds wide open, share that wonderful relationship, with out getting hurt by heartbreak.

Tis one difficult subject to ponder! Tis one scary thought to wonder about. Yet I was asked...

So once again smile at the thoughts of an ole fool!
I am!!! 

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Maple Trees

There are two maple trees in my front yard. Both are Norway Maples and both were planted at the same time. They were planted long before I was alive by my great grandmother, shortly after my great grandfather put this house up. Those trees were there before the power lines were here.

The power company sends guys out to trim these two Maple trees every few years. They would like to take them off at the ground. I won't let them. When they are done trimming those trees they look silly from up or down the road. Kind of like Mickey Mouse ears...

But though the winter and on rainy days I can see those trees from my favorite seat in the house. I've spent many hours watching birds play on the limbs of those trees. I've even watched that cat try climbing the trees after the birds. They tease him. They watch him climb. Then walk carefully out the big limbs. But when he gets close... They fly away. They return as soon as he leaves. Sometimes the birds will only fly a few branches away and they seem to be laughing at him. So I laugh too.

Now these trees are made of the exact same things. They are both Norway Maples and are the same age. They are both trees. Yet the trunks of those two trees are different. One is really big around and the other is skinnier. Both are about the same height. Yet one has more big branches that the other.

Both trees are planted in the same type of soil and get about the same food. Both trees have branches growing in different directions. When you look at them they are just trees. But when you really look at them and get to know them they are different. Really different.

It's kind of sad that so many look at people, like so many people look at those trees. They never see the differences. Not all blacks look the same. Not all whites look the same. Not all women look the same. Give me a break... I have known so many people from so many places around this globe that I have seen so many differences in not only the races, but the people their selves.

No two people are the same. I've watched twins. The twins were born about the same time and even shared the same genetic makeup. But by their own perception of things in their lives they grew to be different people. They still looked alike, but when you really took the time and got to know them, you could see all the differences. One set of twins I knew looked so much alike that it was not until I would talk to one that I knew who they were.

Unless a person is really a bad person, take a little time and get to know them. You may be surprised at who you find.

You guys out here... Not all women are alike. Yes, they're women. But there the likenesses end. Each and every one is different, just as different as you and your friends. Each has different needs beyond the basics of life. Each has different wants. Each has different passions and desires. Again just like all your friends.

You want your lady to be happy? Talk with her, listen and observe, find out who she really is.

Hey, now go and have a really great day and observe. See what you can find to make you smile and while your at it, give someone else a reason to smile!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


With all the thinking I have done in the past and especially over the past eleven years, I can not answer one nagging question that rolls about in my mind. Trust.

In the past it's not been to hard to forgive people who have done things I didn't like and begin to trust them again. Never had trouble meeting someone and trusting them. Some never got to the point of trust but most do. It's never really hard either.

Forgiveness has never been a hard thing. The mother of my youngest children left me with them and I forgave her and even trusted her as a friend. There have been times where someone would really just take something of mine. AKA rob me. Them I forgave when they apologized, and I learned to trust them again.

People who have said things that hurt. Even lies that have been told. Those people were forgiven and I slowly trusted them once more. There have even been times the things said or done have left me feeling traumatized. But again I was able to forgive and learn to trust again.

There were things done and said by me, that after they were said or done left me feeling bad. I know the other people felt even worse. I'd ask for forgiveness and it would be granted. Then I eventually learned to trust that I would not be so foolish to do something like that again.

Forgiving has never really been an issue for me. I also could forgive but knew better than to ever forget. But there are some who we should never forget and turn our backs on, nor close our eyes to. There are just some really bad people. They too can change eventually. Should they make a change for the better, I can observe them long enough that I can learn to trust them. I've even done that!

Like I've said before, I have never been a good judge of character when it came to women. I could find the only shallow woman out of a room of a thousand and fall for her. Then be left alone and hurting again.

OK for a long time I was the guy who rode and partied in every free moment I could cram in. All that made me look like a shallow partying person. So yah, that's what those women thought I was and that's what they wanted. After finding out I wasn't that guy they split. I can totally understand that.

With that reasoning I have forgiven all that I have ever ran into since and can have friendly conversations with them. So even they can be trusted. There's nothing wrong with them. It's just that they and I want different things from life and have different ideas of what love is.

Now I've rolled all the past through my mind and have come to some really acceptable understanding of me. Made some changes in my life and kinda like who and what I've become. Over the past eleven years I even find I can trust myself not to return to the person I was. I can now go for a drink and do a little partying and then walk away when it's over and not return until I'm good and ready. If someone offers a beer, I can say give me some coffee.

The thing that runs rampant through my head is loneliness. It would be so nice to have someone to share in my day to day and sit on the porch with in my evenings. Someone to share coffee and conversation with in the mornings.
But I can not even begin to trust myself about letting someone that far into my life. I can't trust that I would know if someone were the right kind of woman or not...

Maybe it's just spring that has these thoughts working so madly in my head. Spring does that to most creatures. But I wish I could just bottle up these thoughts and toss them in the trash. They really are consuming me right now.
So that's why I can't seem to find anything funny from my mind. I'm being consumed by thoughts that I'm trying like mad to to just push back into the deepest places of that thing in my head.

But, I am still smiling! Heck, I see humor in it. A silly old fool working and even sitting around with thoughts like that... Goofy stuff like that should be far gone from an old guys mind. Guess some kids just never grow up.

So I hope you can laugh along and I'm hoping you smile too!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

With Or To

Before getting to what I have to say, there is a new link on the right side of the page, under the Blogs I Like. It's Diary Of A Naughty Mom. Another really interesting and inspiring writer. I enjoy what she has to say and how she says it. So please check out her blog and see what you think. You will get a warning before you get to the page, but I really don't see why. Again, let me know if you would, what you think of that wonderful blog!!! Thank you!

Now on to today's thoughts.

Do you talk to your kids? Why? Do you like being talked to?
But you do like being talked with, don't you?

When someone talks “to” me I have this tendency to get defensive. I feel like they are ordering me to agree with what they're saying. Or even when being asked to do something, when I'm being talked “to” I begin to get a feeling that I should tell them to do it theirself.

My son and I were at a restaurant a few weeks ago. There was a father that was telling his little daughter to leave mommy alone while she ate. The child would listen momentarily, then go right back to pestering mom. Dad would again tell the girl to leave mom alone. It just went on and on.

I didn't say a word. But the memories of my own children rang in my mind. I tried the telling and it rarely would work. I adopted instead of telling, asking and giving a brief explanation why. Unbelievably they would understand and listen. Sometimes only longer than telling, but it helped. I would, if needed, reenforce what I'd explained before and eventually that worked very well.
There would still be times I would just have to tell. But they were few and were taken better by the kids.

I kinda think it's no different than adults. If someone tells us, we don't like it. But if they ask in a normal tone of conversation, we're usually very happy to do. When a boss does nothing but order, they're employees become disgruntled. Bosses I worked for who treated us with respect and talked with us were a pleasure to work harder for. Why would children be any different?

Just maybe if we talk with our children they too will be more willing to cooperate. They do have short attention spans and probably will need to have things explained again, but wouldn't that be a better way than just barking orders like a drill sergeant? With teens it may even lessen that rolling of eyes.
Ok, that is a stretch... Yet it's a possibility.

When feeling that you belong you tend to want to do things. When feeling like a slave being ordered ya don't. Why not give it a try. Hey, what have you got to lose? Why not let them know they belong and you care instead of ordering them like the family dog. That dog probably doesn't have the mental capacity to understand explanations, but children are human. They do.

Children are not dumb creatures, they are creatures with hearts that can hurt. So try talking with, instead of to. Give them the gift of belonging. Even if, they still do that eye roll... Heck, I sometimes do that to them.
I'm tired of seeing kids with frowns, I'd rather see kids with smiles!

So go find a kid and show them you care. Talk with them and share a smile!

Monday, April 18, 2011

What's That

Thought I'd return to a few of the questions I hear when some people stop by for a visit. Most leave me with a smile...

Eww, whats that smell?
My stock answer is, the other end of ice cream... That delicious milk and butter you enjoy... That's the smell that makes those tasty burgers you eat.
Now that may get some to not having a desire to eat any dairy or beef products for a while. But they'll be back. The human desire to eat great tasting food is very overpowering.

Yup. Cows eat food and produce milk that becomes our food. Cows eat a lot. No, I mean a lot... Well when a creature eats... It works its way through and comes out the other end. No different than a human other than a cow eats a lot more and the resulting outcome is far greater.
Personally, I don't think it's quite as bad of an aroma as humans leave wafting through the air when the results are realized. But... To each their own opinion.

Then when they see those results in a barn... You mean they ---- on the floor?
Well, no one has designed a toilet for them and they are still beasts. Don't think they'd use one if we did give them one. No they seem to enjoy giving me something to do.

You mean you have to clean that up, every day?
It don't clean itself. And I've tried asking them nicely if they would clean their own mess up. But just as a teen child, they ignore me. They are very good at that. Why if teens ever figure out just how good cows are at ignoring adult requests, we adult are through. And just like those teens, they always show you love when they want food.

Also like many teens, when you feed them and play with them they'll give you sweet kisses. But a kiss from a cow requires a towel to dry off. They must be French : )
Another like teen children they do, is poop all over you if you get in the way. When you see a cow begin to raise its tail... Run. Move in any direction except towards the cow. That stuff can splatter many, many feet away.

The back end of a cow is one real good place to stay away from. Sometimes only because they might not realize your there. Then when they do... They get excited and scared. That can bring on a swift kick you will remember for a really long time while you stare at an ugly painful bruise or even ache from a broken bone...

One I hear mostly from women, probably because they do most of the laundry, is how do you clean that off? : )
Not much different than cleaning diapers. If it is real bad you run to the hose and rinse all you can, away down the drain or outside onto the ground. You may walk around with wet pants for awhile. But it dries. Other than that, well you scrape off what you can. Then wash them. Same as dirty diapers. Yup, it all comes out in the wash.

But doesn't it stain? Sometimes it does. But isn't that why we have work clothes and good clothes... Stains will be stains will be stains. When you dedicate clothes for particular work, stains become less of a problem. Should you be like me and dumb enough to forget... Well you end up with more work clothes.

Like anything else in life. It's all attitude. If you don't want something to bother you, find a solution. Sometimes that solution is to just decide not to let some things bother you. There's always some kind of poop in everyone's life...

So now that I have “relieved” myself of these questions. : )
Go about your day and smile!
You probably don't have near as much poop in your life as I do...

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Touch That Needs Shared

In some it brings great pleasure, in some it brings depression, in others it brings addiction. It's not like the need for air. Not required like water. It's more like the need for good friends and meaningful conversation.

It's lack brings quiet desperation in some. That desire that wants fulfilled, but isn't. A desire so deeply implanted in the mind the soul aches, when it's not attended to. Yet we survive to live on in our desperation.

In some it can bring rage when the body out rules their minds with it's desires. Some get grumpy and complain endlessly. While some get angry and yell at everyone in sight.

In some it also brings out energy and the desire to work, so the mind doesn't have time to think. Going to bed alone again but to exhausted to lay awake, and think.

Some even turn to alcohol and drugs for an escape. Looking for something to numb the mind and body. Some run to clubs and bars in search of even a stranger, to help soothe the desires the loneliness brings.

Having someone who doesn't feel the need or care, someone that simply can't because of a medical problem, or just being alone with no one to share a body and the pleasure derived from it is an ache that reaches deeply into the soul. But the beginnings of intimacy is the creek that leads to that river which leads to that ocean in our souls.

Conversation with every word dancing on each others ears. Eyes that stay focused and are mesmerized. The playful games and funny laughs begin. Then the passionate kisses. The touch of hands in a soft caress. The build up of romance, then on to the steamy, all feeds and comforts the soul. Bringing happiness in it's full potentiality deep inside the mind. The joy to touch, or to be touched with passion, the feeling of closeness, feeling connected and safe, feeling loved, and desired. The secrets shared without worry by two! Secrets of mind and body, in the language of love. Words that can't be spoken at any other time than during the bliss that is shared by two. Be they teasingly with a whisper, or unhumbled demands with vengeance for more, to please the deepest needs. The moans of joy, the cries of pleasure when at last, fulfillment's attained. The feeling that no other world exists, but only the world, of the two in the moment.

All this helps make it through the daily challenges and grief. Helps to give the certainty that ones still alive. Makes a soul feel desired and wanted. Instilled with passion and comforted, filled with joy. Lets you know you can still feel, and give pleasure.

When that creek begins to run and ends up deep in the mind it becomes a tidal wave. Yet like any tidal wave, when it's over and gone, there is nothing but a mess. Surrounded by total loss and confusion.

Be it losing a life's partner or their ability. Being kicked to the curb and dumped. Even being abandoned and ignored by the one in your life. It leaves a soul in quiet desperation. Like losing a part of yourself, a part you can't imagine how to exist without. Yet as days, weeks, months and even years go by, we survive. The feelings and urges never die, but they become so pushed deep and hidden, smothered in the mind, that life, does become at least a little more bearable.

Replacing the love and intimacy with casual relationships or one night stands never works. There's always the deeply learned morals that creep up in the mind and destroy us even more. Leaving us feeling more confused and dismayed. There's the need to belong, not just play. You start feeling shallow. You become disgusted with what you've become. Maybe even bringing another life into a world of nothing but loneliness, hurt, and confusion.

Reaching out and finding a bed buddy to fulfill those desires, then trying to turn that into love. Only to find we're again hurt when we realize that they never felt love, they were just biding their time until something they felt better came their way.

Sadly there is no magic pill. No fairy godmother with a wand. Nothing, to heal that deep pain.
I truly believe the only thing that will help someone heal is looking within their own mind and learning once again what and who they were before that journey ever began.

Can it be done on your own... Maybe. If you can really look that deep on your own and with nothing but honesty with yourself. Then be able to discuss with yourself all you learn and add that to who you are today. But to do that, you'd have to become a hermit like me, with to much time on their hands. A life dedicated to being alone no mater how long it takes. A life hurt so many times that it can accept being alone, rather than take a chance of being hurt again. At the end of my tunnel, I've found tranquility! But also found a fear, that keeps me alone... Not a very good end for most...

Help is hard to find. But that is a pursuit worth all the effort it takes. Someone who “cares” for more than the money, and is trained to help you look deeply and then learn. Even someone that will take enough time, as you become comfortable enough to open and honestly say everything. But it could well be an answer.

Find those answers you need and you very well may have true happiness, not happiness that requires someone else. But the happiness you felt as a child. Then if and when you do find someone who fits your life, you may again find that feeling of one.

Surely it has to be better than doing more than kissing toads, while in search of one that will give you more than warts!

For some reason and I don't know why. I do have a little story playing in my head. But I feel compelled to leave this up all weekend. So unless some deeper feeling comes over me. I won't be posting tomorrow. So with all my heart to you, have a really warm and smiling weekend.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Things A Guy Should Remember

A few things were brought to my attention again yesterday while I was here on the internet and doing some reading. I can't remember the exact text but I will try to put what I read in words.

One was, the way that some guys yell at their wives.
It was said that while your yelling at your wife, there is some man who wishes only to talk sweetly to her.

Another was about how some men treat their wives.
While your slapping, punching or beating on your wife, there is a man who only wants to hold her and treat her like a lady.

There were probably more, but I honestly didn't look at them all that long. But I'll add a few more from my own mind.

While your ignoring the woman of your life, there is a man that wants to give her all the attention he can and would not for a second forget her.

While your not holding her hand, there is a man who will and be proud of her.

While your not giving her flowers, there is a man who would stop and pick her some from a field.

While your walking out in front of her, there is a guy who is watching that would walk with her and hold doors for her.

While your not giving her kisses, there is a man who would hold her and kiss her with warmth and passion like she deserves.

While your refusing her a pretty new dress, there is a man who would at least try and buy her the store.

While your not taking her out to dinner, there is a man who will take her to dinner, for drinks and dance the night away with her. Or will cook her a dinner. Then clean up after by himself for her.

While your not helping her do the dishes, there is a man who will help her and will help clean the whole house.

What would you do to keep your sweetheart in your life and not have her open to and thinking of the desires of another man?
If you don't believe they think about it maybe you should spend some time here on the internet reading some of the thoughts of women. Find out about how hurt they can be because some fool isn't showing them the love and respect they want and deserve.

What does your girlfriend or wife want from you? Now that's a question I hear when I'm around guys. Simple pal. Open your ears and listen to her. Spend an evening with her, instead of your buddies. Out with the guys or at a bar. Talk with her, and when she talks. Shut up and listen. Listen like your life depends on it. It does.

If your not listening there is someone who will and already may be. He probably feels sorrow for her and the plight your putting her through. He doesn't like to see her cry and will probably help dry her tears and make her smile. Then my friend. She'll be gone...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Where Do I Belong

On the home page for my sign in there is always that silly horoscope. I don't take these horoscopes serious and if and when I can remember them, they're wrong.

Promises of wealth... Yah, still waiting for that, since the first time I was told that by a horoscope, way back during my teen years. Many times since I might add.
The promises of love... Oh yah!!! But no, that doesn't happen either. Oh, I'm going to meet the perfect girl of my dreams and live happily ever after. Fat chance! Not a one of those ever happened either.

Promises of fantastic career moves... Only career moves that were good in my life were brought about by good old fashioned work, desire and perseverance. No horoscope, anything or any one gave me a thing.

So when I do bother to read one, which is usually when it catches my eye, I read it, then think, then smile. Here's one from just the other day.

“You probably aren't going to feel very social today, dear Capricorn. In fact, you're likely to want to work on projects and tasks alone if you can. This actually might be good for you as you probably need to concentrate on crossing certain things off your list without being distracted. Still, you should get out among others at some point during the day. You might want to be alone, but you'll still need to feel that you belong.”

OK, that first line, not going to feel very social today. Hmm, I never feel very social when I get outta bed. I like quiet and coffee. Unless it's warm out. Then I like coffee and listening to the birds while drinking in the earth as it awakes to a new day. Cows I like. They don't ask for much and are usually very happy just to see ya. The dogs and cat. Well they do greet you with tail wags and love you, at least until you feed them and then they fall asleep.
Now after I'm awake and ready for the day. I'm always feeling very social. So that's a bunch of bull.

Work alone??? No way, I never “want” to work alone. It is just something that needs to be done. I look at work as play and having playmates makes it that much more fun. And no, it's never good for me to work alone, I get to bored and begin to daydream. When that happens I start to wonder from one task to another. Having someone to work with keeps me from doing that. No it's eleven years of being alone that makes me the mess I am. My own brain is my distraction!

As for the lists, I do make lists for important things that must be taken care of, if I remember... They do get accomplished better that way. Even when my mind begins to wonder I can refer to the list to get back on track. But all the other little things don't need a list. No, they're more like having a nagging partner. Every time you look around they scream at you to get something done. But I don't have to listen. So see, there are benefits of being alone : )

Want to be alone? I'm not sure anyone wants to be alone. For myself it's just a given that others have a life too. They need to do their things and can't always find the time to be hanging around me. As for a female partner in my life. Well, all I can find and pick are very shallow women and I end up alone anyway. So why bother. I just accept that I will spend whatever is left alone and get on with living.

Feeling that I belong... What a thought. I feel like I belong when with my kids and their families. Feel like I belong when with the grand kids. Feel like I belong when at gatherings. Usually. Belonging with a life's partner... Ehh, probably not.

I do, though, have a feeling of belonging when I'm with the critters. Like me, they're dumb enough not to know to expect the worst from anyone and just love them all. Unless hurt. So we have a connection there.
I feel I belong when I'm out in the fields or woods. Being just another creature on Gods green earth. Exploring and being amazed by all that's there. Smelling all the different wonderful smells. Seeing the majesty of huge trees or even tiny wildflowers. Enjoying the feeling of laying on grass while watching the clouds to find what shapes I may see. The heat of the sun shining down on my body. Even the feel of a crisp chill in the air. If I want, singing and dancing in the rain. (thanks Gene Kelly)

Then I smile, because I've gotten to think and remember, what it is to be me.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Nope, Not Worth It

Don't know just how to approach or start this post. So I'm just going to start typing and see where it goes. I will say it borders on adult but isn't quite there.

The old guy goes bad boy.

There I was hanging out on the internet at a site I frequent when I received an interesting e mail from a lady. I open it and wow! Was I surprised. Well I closed it and moved on. Little bit later I heard from a great friend and we chatted a long while. But it is the kind of friend you may find only once in a lifetime.

After chatting and signing off I had a bite to eat and more coffee. It was a beautiful day and was the first really warm day of this year. So I walked out and sat on the porch. As I sat listening to the birds and enjoying the smells of spring I couldn't get that e mail out of my mind. But I am a very curious kinda guy. And I did wonder about the kind of thing that the e mail was leading to.

So thanks to that curiosity I returned to the couch and signed back on line. Who knows, this could even lead to a interesting blog post. I mean I'm sure that others wonder, because I hear the topic come up quite a bit. So OK, I'll do it for research! Sorry don't let the BS fool you. It was curiosity.

I opened the e mail and proceeded to read beyond where I had read before. Yup. I was right. Some one was trying to goad me into on line uhh, shall we say thrills. Like I said, I'm curious. Always wondered what anyone would see in that. So I mustered up all the romance and sweet talk I could and replied.

Spent the entire afternoon messaging back and forth. Keeping it civil but bordering on raunchy. Sometimes really stretching that border. The kind of stuff you would read in those really passionate love stories. Which is something else I don't get... The e mails would at times fly like lightening and at other times were a bit slower. Hey, my head just don't keep up real well with that stuff. But... I have been alone a long time and have given up.

I wanted to do some copy and paste and show you some but... There is none I would have on this blog that anyone could see. No way. There was a bit of copy and paste I did, but what was there didn't make any sense without the rest. So that was of no use at all. My way of seeing it. That's bedroom talk and when out of that room is nothing but filth.
OK, so there is a bit of prude in me. Laugh if ya want. I would!

But what I did find was that I was absolutely right in my previous assumption that internet uhh, thrills, were not as thrilling as some try to lead you to believing. They really are just stupid. Now yes, I'm still a man with all the feelings I had when I was a teen. I do have better control now that I'm older but the feelings are still live.

I did not! Feel any excitement at all. Never felt hot under the collar for any reason other than it was getting hot outside and the house was warming up. Even my son who passed in and out of the house quite a bit said how dumb it seemed when I would show him the e mails. Matter of fact he said something about that being the kind of girl you definitely wouldn't want.

I'm proud of that boy, err, young man.

So there it is, my experiment led by curiosity, and how I still see the answer to internet uhh, thrills.

Dumb, stupid, can not bring any real enjoyment. Another thing I'll add though. In my honest opinion, any one who would get thrills from something like that would probably be someone to stay away from. Ya just never know what ya might get that even strong cleanser won't scrub off. It would also not be the girl you'd want to take home and introduce to momma. She'd probably knock your ears off.

I will experiment with about anything, but for now, there is to much disgust in my head to try anything. At least for a while.

So smile at yet again, an answer to a question that has so many wondering.

I can't believe I did that and worse I can't believe I'm telling anyone let alone, the world... I need some serious help...................................................