Friday, November 30, 2012

A little thought about depression

Ever notice how you can hurt yourself and in your mind it causes you grief and sadness?
Ever notice at other times you can be in pain and someone makes you laugh then you find you have forgotten about the pain and actually laughed?
Ever notice how when you are really busy doing things you like, pain seems to not be as bad or even disappears for the time?

The mind and body are connected. Pain is a warning sent to the mind to give you advice to stop what you are doing or find a different way of doing it.
But things that begin in the mind can also bring pain to the body.

When many people I've talked to and including myself have felt really bad depression, parts of their body begin to hurt. Sometimes with nothing more than a loss of appetite. Sometimes in a mysterious unexplained pain. Usually for me it's added pain to my neck and back.

I find though that the sooner I find something to do or someone to laugh with or even just someone to spend time with and talk to, the faster those pains seem to relieve or some even go away completely.

Sharing, smiling and laughter seem to have healing powers...
I doubt there is anything mysterious or magical about that. It's just that when your mind is on things other than what is depressing you or bothering you the mind is to busy to get confused and send out false messages to your body causing pain. When you do have an actual pain the mind kept busy will not dwell on that pain.

Quite often too I find that when I feel low and depressed there is something I need in my life. At those times the only help I have found is to get alone with myself and listen to the thoughts that my mind reveals to me. Then when I do find what I am missing I have to make the choice to attempt to find and get what I need.

Sometimes too it's something I need to get rid of. Then I have to make the choice to get that bother out of my mind.
When it's something profound and hurtful locked in my minds past it becomes a bit of a problem. I find that speaking the words to release them from my mind can be dangerous.

Speaking some things to people causes them to judge you. Speaking some things to some people is telling the world.
Finding my one and only very trusted friend is my solution. But friends like that are a very rare find during a lifetime.
Some I have spoke to about similar situations write what they have to say and how it makes them feel anonymously.
It seems when it's left out and freed from the mind, the mind begins to heal.

We also have a tendency to shy away from doing things with others when we are feeling sad and depressed. Like staying away from parties or turning down invitations.
I've found that making myself go and be around people can help. Even when I'm having trouble talking to people there is always that one person who gets me into a conversation which ends up taking my mind away from dwelling on my own problems.
I find that helps because it gives me a break and later when I think about the problem it seem easier to find a solution.

Ehh, it's what works for me. If you think it will help you then try.
Anything to help bring the smile back to your face is worth a try in my mind and life.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Enough Excitement Already

It's late fall, water freezes overnight at this time of year quite often. So it becomes part of the early morning routine to give the chickens fresh water first thing in the morning. The heat lamp keeps the chickens warm, but it doesn't keep their coop warm in the corner where the water is kept.

My wonderfully helpful son was being nice to me and he took their water out before he had to leave for work. When he opened the door he was met by a big bird fluttering straight towards his face! I got to see most of the action from the window.
He sidestepped the guided missile by ducking and the chicken flew past him and out to freedom. He came back in with an angry mood and got a flashlight. Before I could say anything he was gone and looking in the darkness for the bird. I yelled out and told him to let it alone so he wouldn't be late for work.

I went out and did my morning routine and never saw a feather of the bird. Didn't even hear a cluck. So I guess you could say the chicken didn't give a cluck.
While I was busy with my chores I managed to find a small rock. I stepped on it and while dancing the please don't let me fall on my can dance, twisted my lower back. The same back that is never free of pain. Now it hurt worse...

I went to my daughters to get the grandkids on the bus while she went to her job. Tried to make a cup of coffee.
Her coffee maker decided to take about forty five minutes to brew one danged cup of coffee. Now I know one thing she is getting for Christmas...
So I only had five minutes to down that cup of liquid heat and heaven before I had to get the grandkids on the bus.

As I was walking home there were two rabbits that came bursting out of a field at close to the speed of light. Now I'm not sure if they were moving to fast to see me or maybe thought I would make good protection, but they almost tripped me to the ground as one ran between my feet and the other in front of my foot! Soon after while I was still trying to regain my balance a small fox came running out of the field in hot pursuit. He however did see me and decided to forget his chase and made a u turn back into the field. Maybe my stumbling made him think I would flatten him with a fall...

Now that aching back is aching even more and I want nothing more than to get home, take a couple of ibuprofen and have a cup of steaming coffee while I perch upon my couch. But I finish my trek back home and instead go chicken hunting.

I find the escapee and as I walk towards her she makes her way back to the pen. Now my head is full of pain and I'm not really thinking right.
As if I ever do...
So I open the gate and walk around the pen knowing she will stay ahead of me and go in the open gate. What I hadn't thought of was the other chickens would come out to see what the commotion was about.

You guessed it. As the chicken now tired of her freedom was going in the gate, four of the others made their escape. I really should have shut their door. So I had to walk around the pen and coop two more times before they were all finally safely back inside. I shut the gate, gave them some food and came back inside to the wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

Got two ibuprofen from the bottle, selected four scrumptious oatmeal cookies, poured a cup of coffee, parked my butt on the sofa and am praying that no one gets a deer in the next three or four hours and calls asking for my help to get the tractor and bring it in from the fields or woods.

All in all, a pretty good morning except for a little pain.
I got to laugh at the son as a chicken took his mind from bed brain to wide awake in a second flat.
I danced the don't let me fall on my can dance.
I had some fun talking to the grandkids as we waited for the bus.
I got to do a sort of two step, jive dance with two cute speeding rabbits.
Had the opportunity to laugh at a fox as he saw me and changed his mind.
Had the chance to save two rabbits from a hungry fox.
Got to go for a walk with a cute chick.
Got to laugh at my own thoughtlessness when I forgot about the other chickens.
Got to get them all safely back in their pen as they laughed at me with their cackles and talked about me with their clucks.
And now as long as the phone doesn't ring, I get to sit on my rump and savor the aroma and flavor of some nice hot coffee and share the tale of my somewhat exciting morning while hoping it gives you a big smile as it does me.

I kinda hope there is no more excitement for my day. Ehh, scratch that. Lets make it for the week!

Monday, November 26, 2012

Life Goes On

Icy cold air nipping at the nose and chilling the lungs. Crispy ground crunching under foot with wisps of snow laying here and there. Daylight just beginning to make it's way through the early morning darkness. An old body cuddled in the softness of warm clothes.

Finished with the early morning chores and now making his way to the spot he has been seeing the deer he wants to bring home to fill the freezer with. Very lean, wonderful tasting, nourishing meat for the winter months ahead.

He gets to his spot picked out months before and perches on a stump that stands there from a tree he once cut down when clearing a fence row. He listens and watches as the day begins to get brighter. His eyes take in the beauty of the dawning day.

The grasses of the fields glistening with the frozen dew that has collected on them over night. The weeds and brush at the edges of the field just outside the trees which give cover to the wildlife that hides within. He enjoys the silence.

He watches carefully at the trails he has seen the deer he wants emerging from so many other early mornings as he enjoyed the views of the different seasons of the year. All with their special changes of scenery. The beautiful flowers of the plants in the spring as the sun rose over the scene. Attracting the birds who would carry their seeds to start new life elsewhere. The filling of greens as summer approached. The greens that would feed and nourish the wildlife as the year went along. The leaves that would hide the birds as they grazed and hid from their enemies. The leaves that would hide their nests full of their precious eggs and babies. The change to fall when the beautiful colors of the leaves emerged before they dropped to the ground for the winter so the weight of the snow wouldn't break the branches and limbs of the trees.

He pours a cup of hot coffee from the thermos he brought along. As he smells the coffee and prepares to take a sip of the liquid heat he says a prayer to the universe to be on his side today and to aid him in making a clean shot so his prey wouldn't suffer.

He takes a deep swig of his coffee. As he does he hears a sound of a branch, something moving to his left. He sets the coffee on the ground slowly and cautiously turns his head to look. He spies a young buck. His head is full of thought. But it's not the older deer he wanted. So he watches as it moves from the brush, across the field and into the brush to the woods.
In his mind this deer would have made some decent meals, but was to young and should be left to make more deer and not hunted until a few years later.

He picks up his coffee and gets as comfortable as possible on his stump once again.
As he peers around at the beauty of the early day his mind begins to wonder about the years that have passed and the many times he has hunted alone and with others. He recalls conversations with other hunters and smiles as he remembers how they complain they never see deer.

He checks the wind direction, sets his coffee down and reaches for a cigar. He lights his cigar and watches the brush line across the field from him. As he enjoys his smoke he notices something moving in the heavy brush. He readies his rifle as he watches the familiar sight of the deer he has spent almost a year watching steps from the bushes. His cigar drops from his lips to the ground at his feet.

He watches as the deer walks into the field. But something is different.
The deer looks at him. It knows he's there. Yet it doesn't run. The deer gives him a look as if to say, it's my time and you are the one I want to feed with my body. My spirit is ready to move on. He waits for about a minute longer with thoughts seeming to go back and forth with the deer. Not one sign of the deer wanting to move except four paces closer and slightly turning to the side. The deer knows his hunter too.

They have both enjoyed each others company over the past year. They have watched each other knowing this day would come.
He aims his rifle with as much care as he has learned over his life and squeezes the trigger gently. The deer drops without a sound or movement of fear or pain. It's over and life goes on.

As he walks to his deer he feels sadness at the passing of a deer who has become a friend and taught him of his ways so this day would cause neither of them more pain than necessary for life to go on. He approaches his deer and says a prayer over him. Thanking the universe, thanking mother earth and thanking the deer. Giving thanks that he is allowed to share in the spirit of the deer, knowing that this deer will live on through him and those who share in the meals.

His hunting season was short as he intended it to be. Now was the time to take home his bounty to be stored for the meals during the winter ahead.
He only feels sorry that mankind has chosen to break the food chain and he will not one day be able to return what he has been given to go on feeding the life left behind when the day comes for his spirit to pass on.

Yet he also knows he can plant trees that will last longer than him that will feed and protect the wildlife long after he is gone. He can plant wild berry bushes and plants that will feed and drop seeds to spread their own growth that will feed those that feed him for many years to come.
He can leave something behind which will continue to feed as life goes on.

For this he smiles, as life goes on.
There is little to smile at when things are received. There is much more warmth and more to smile about when the smiler is doing the giving and sharing the smiles.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Some questions should not be asked

So what do I have in common with an old dog?
No, I know I don't smell so good at times but it's not the odor. And no, it's not fleas.

What it is, is that when I'm not feeling well I do not want bothered. When I'm ill I only want to find a quiet, comfortable spot that is somewhat warm and sleep until I begin to feel better.

There are still things that need done and somehow when I have to I can manage to drag myself along and do them. Yet as soon as they are done I will find my comfortable spot and sleep. Even if that spot is on a bale of hay.

When something like that happens it seems there is always someone who comes along looking for me and can't find me. Then when they finally do they go into a panic.

Have you seen a doctor? Can I call a doctor? Maybe I should call 911!

I am despising that 911... I am not a fan of doctors.
When I'm sick I know how sick I am and only want to sleep it off or take the things I know will make me feel better. In the event I can't figure out what it is causing me to feel so bad I will see a doctor. In the unlikely event I don't heal and get better soon I will see a doctor.
But doctors are my last choice in someone to see. Especially when I do not feel well.

They have this way of never listening to what I'm telling them. They have their ways of asking questions when I've already given them the answers. They only seem to hear what they want to hear and then trying to schedule for so many tests that you will either be healed or dead before they figure out how to help.

I tend to save a lot of time and money by cutting out the middle man. I'll either heal or die on my own. I don't need nor want their testing to cause me more pain and aggravation when I'm already filled up with pain and aggravation.

I'm also not fond of man made chemical drugs. It's amazing to me that all the drugs I've taken the time to learn about were there in nature before they found the chemical makeup of them and capitalized on the fake drugs they make from what they learned. And you or anyone else will never convince me that fake is better than real.

I'm happy and I'm generally healthy. Living this life has left me with some pains and scars and a few bones and parts that no longer work as well as they once did, but I do alright.

So once again a miserable flu bug has taken it upon itself to take up residence in my body. It started making itself known late Thursday. Guess it too wanted to enjoy some of that wonderful Thanksgiving meal... So there I was Thursday night spending or wasting my time perched on the toilet. I spent the next day mostly in bed and only wanting ice water to drink. Food had become my enemy. Even the aroma of the pumpkin and sweet potato pies couldn't make me want to munch and savor their delectable flavors.

All I needed was to sleep so my body could fight the bug and chase it from my aching body.

Today I'm still not back to feeling like my normal self. I am doing what absolutely needs done and fully intend to explore the wrinkles of my sheets and blanket some more.

So I'm hoping all of you are enjoying the day and keeping that smile shining.
I am smiling in my dreams as I sleep and heal.

But I'm warning everyone.
Wake me up one more time to ask me if I'm OK and I'm going to give you big sloppy kisses and hugs and pass this bug on to you!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thank You

These are things I'm thankful to be alive for.

Respect Mother Earth.
Respect the Great Spirit
Respect our fellow man and woman
Respect for individual freedom

I wonder how many will remember these...
If you don't remember these, they were in a post here on the blog.
The “Food For Thought” post from last November 2011.

I am also very thankful for the blog followers who were so gracious as to join me here and grace my life with their company and friendship.
I really do love having you all here.

While also doing the work I had to do today, I was asked by my daughter to make my pumpkin and sweet potato pies for tomorrow. She is making the main meal and friends and family are invited and will be there sharing in conversation, smiles and laughter.

I will be stuffing myself with turkey, stuffing and sweet potato's along with some other sides. The the pies!
There is never enough left after these dinners to swipe enough to have leftovers here at home, so I'm also making a smaller turkey and some sides here at home. That way I will be assured to have my leftovers. I made extra pies too!

So this evening I'm a very exhausted little boy. It's been a long day full of memories and smiles along with some new smiles. There will be new memories, memories shared and many smile Thanksgiving day.

I wish all of you a wonderful Thanksgiving day.

Even if your country or culture doesn't celebrate the Thanksgiving we do I wish you a day of thanks and giving thanks for all mother earth gives us. Thanks for the spirit that gives us life.
Thanks for our fellow man and woman and a prayer for others to respect and accept our fellow men and women.
And respect for the freedom's we have. Especially the freedoms we have of being in touch here on the internet and being able to learn about one another and make this world a smaller, better place to live and share.

Keep that smile shining!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Wonder filled day and smiles

Hope you enjoy how I spent my Sunday full of wonderful smells and beautiful sounds half as much as I did.

I was having a lazy day. It started out slow and relaxing early while out feeding the critters. It was another cold November morning with the sun breaking it's way through the clouds and fog which were not giving up easily.

The aromas of fall were strong in the air. The smell of the leaves covering the ground for the winter to protect the soil and make their way back into food for the earth to grow more plants with.
The cold crisp smell of the pristine fresh fall air that filled me with life as it filled my lungs.

While the long forgotten boy in me wanted to stay out and play, the older body with it's aches and pains was saying go back inside where it's warm you ole fool.
Gladly the boy won. He stayed out for about and extra hour and a half walking about and enjoying the waking of the earth for one more day. It was quiet. The songbirds have left for the winter. The winter birds are not yet quite here for the season. But they sing quieter songs and there are not quite as many to fill the fields and woods with a loud concert.

I did see some rabbits wiggling their little noses as the filled their bellies with the food they found. Preparing their bodies for the soon coming snow covered days. The days when they'll have to dig for their treat. Clawing and then diving under the blanket of snow to munch and then popping up somewhere else to amuse my mind.
I stood in a fence row among some trees and bushes for a bit watching them dine and play before continuing on my way.

As I went on my way I saw eight pheasants. One rooster with his seven lovely ladies all scratching along the edge of the corn field as they searched for their breakfast. He with a wary eye out for danger protecting his women, they with more attention to the food while listening for his calls of danger. And sure enough, as I got nearer he called and they all ran into the corn stalks to hide from this hungry looking monster of a creature that was near.

I hiked over the hill along the fields and came to my path through the woods that I've worn down with many walks. A path that is crisscrossed with many paths made by local deer making their way to dine on the crops we so graciously plant for them to enjoy. At least I think that is their point of view...

I started down the slight hill of my path when I spied out of the corner of my eye four deer at the edge of another corn field. They were having a morning feast before wondering off back into the woods and brush to hide and sleep for the day. They saw me in the distance and watched as I made my way through the woods until I came out the other end and disappeared past the edge of their breakfast buffet.

I stopped along the property line when I was passing near a neighbors. Their huge Saint Bernard had come over to greet me by saying hello and wagging his tail. I petted and talked to him a bit before continuing my walk back to the house.

Came in, had some coffee, warmed up and spent some time catching up with some friends and sharing some chuckles here on line. I somewhat got lost in one conversation with a very beautiful minded friend. Then I spotted the clock and found I was late for my noontime feeding and knew my girls the chickens who keep me well supplied with fresh eggs wouldn't have an appreciation of my excuse for being late. I said my goodbyes and went to say hello to my feathered girls and feed them their lunch and steal their eggs. The eggs they so graciously lay for me to enjoy. At least that's my point of view...

While I was out I once again got lost. The sun had warmed up the air. Church was over and I could hear the low growling sounds of the motors of harvesters filling the cool crisp fall air all around me. My little twenty acre patch of corn is being harvested by a guy who I pay to do that. Who also rents my unused fields here on the farm. All the surrounding hills and valleys are busy with others reaping their crops from the fields.

The sounds brought back memories of days when I was young and helping my grandpap as we were busy harvesting. Days we shared in conversations about this, that and life.
Memories of days when I was still doing everything and was having conversations with my kids about this, that and life as they rode along and helped as I worked.
Warming, wonderful memories that bring feelings of love to a heart and mind.

A simply beautiful day for November! A day to enjoy, a day to harvest, a day just perfect to make new memories. And now as the sun is beginning to make it's way down over the mountains to disappear again for a night, a day to now enjoy the memories of the day and the memories those sights and sounds have allowed me to recall.

Yes, another day made perfect by allowing me it's warm wonderful smiles.

And today I share the feelings and smiles with you.

Friday, November 16, 2012


Whoa, today is two years of this blog.
I find it hard to believe that it's true. My mouth never does stop!

It's been a very interesting two years. I've met new people through this blog and have expanded my world. I've met people from here in the US and what's more interesting is I've met people from around the world. All this getting to know has expanded my mind. I've learned.

Some of my thoughts about all of us being a lot the same have been confirmed. While our governments are very different, we the people of the world are quite a bit alike.

Everywhere people suffer from the same illnesses. Everywhere people suffer from sad things that just happen. Everywhere people suffer from the decisions of their government. We even all suffer from our own bad decisions.

Yet everywhere we all like to have a good time and laugh. We all like to share in our good. Everywhere we find successes. Even if they are small.

It makes me want to ask some questions.

Would mankind be better off if we were proud of who we are and not of what we are?

When it comes to race, is it still not better to be who we are and not what we are?

When we strip away our different governments, when we strip away our various religions, when we strip away our skin colors, when we strip away our clothes, when we strip away our bodies. Are we not what is left?

Our minds. The way we think. The way we treat others and want to be treated by others. The way we treat the world, the earth that gives us all life.

By laying aside differences I believe we can all learn from each other and share in the goodness we all find here and there throughout the world.
Seems to me that no matter the religion, all speak of peace as the thing to strive towards. If you really other to read them for yourself...

By looking at people for who they are inside and not what they are outside we begin to find that peace.

Just because I like the color red, doesn't make the rest of the world wrong if they don't. Just because I prefer Farmall tractors, doesn't make a John Deere lover my enemy.
Yet if you try to force a change in my thinking on me there is a good chance we will be fighting. But if we talk about our differences in opinions we can come to an understanding why we see things differently.

We may never totally agree. But we can gain an understanding that will lead to our acceptance of the differences.

Red Farmall tractors is what I grew up with. I have fond memories of seeing those red tractors on sunny days helping by doing their work in the fields.
There are others though who are good friends that grew up with those green John Deere tractors giving them fond memories.

I see food as a way of growing closer. I love trying foods from all over this world.
Though we all eat the same basic foods, it's how we prepare and spice them up that gives us the flavors we grow so fond of. Spice!

Are not all our differences the spice?

Just how boring would this world be if we were all exactly the same?
If we all thought exactly alike who would do the work that we don't like?

If we all liked to live in our own little worlds of self pity, we would never see a smile.
Now that would be a tragedy! A smile is a spice I certainly wouldn't want to live without.

By taking the time to listen to others and learn why they are who they are always leaves me with smiles. Often leaves me with a warmness from their memories.

Yes, there is bad in this world. But I find more of us want the good. The only way we will get rid of some of the bad is for the hordes of us who like the good to share our smiles with understanding and caring.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Will It Be As Perfect As You Think

It's been twelve years since I lost a lot of the use of my right hand. I miss playing my guitar as much as I once did.
Although I can still play there are many days I can't even finish a song. For one who gets joy from writing and playing his own songs that is torture.

I've exercised that right hand and it hasn't helped. Many times it makes it worse for a day or more. Even to the point where I can't hold things with it. I can be holding a glass and then suddenly it just falls from my hand. That's the reason I only use a big plastic cup for my coffee which is often with me throughout the day.
Nothing short of very risky surgery is expected to help.
Should the problem get too bad I will take the chance on surgery, but as long as I can still use it surgery makes no sense. The bad outcome of the surgery is that I may not be able to use it at all and even lose more.

After my morning chores and the walk to my daughters and back after the grandkids got on the school bus I came in with a song in my heart and on my mind. A very deep desire to play and write that song down. I picked up the guitar and tuned it, getting ready to play. Yah, by the time it was tuned my arm had had enough.

Sometimes during life we lose things. Be that from an injury, an illness or even by choice.
Many things are good to lose, like bad habits or unreasonable anger.
Some are a bother to lose but are things we can live without even though it hurts to lose them. Like my guitar playing.
But there are a few things we make a decision to lose because of responsibilities or necessity at the time and then find we can't seem to get them back.

I made such a decision long ago for the sake of my children. I didn't want or think it was good for them to have woman after woman coming in and out of their lives. But all these years later I find it may be what keeps me alone for the rest of my life.

Try as I might to be satisfied with just being the fool on the hill, observing life, learning and trying to help others with what I see and learn, watching as the sun goes down, there is a loneliness.

That loneliness doesn't keep me from smiling and having a good time as I go about my work and play. Doesn't keep me from loving and caring about the world and people on it. But it does leave a very unpleasant emptiness.

So my warning is to watch what you ask and strive for.
You may get it and then later find it's not what you want.

Monday, November 12, 2012


The weather has been great and it's been a very busy weekend getting caught up on work around here. That window that leaked during Sandy's visit a few weeks ago is now sealed up and ready for another few years.

The chicken coop is cleaned out, the dirty hay is on the garden for next years fertilizer and new, fresh smelling, clean hay is under the roost and in the nests. The girls seem no happier though. The entire time I had them shut out of the coop while cleaning and they were stuck in the outdoor pen, Rowdy the hyper pup was chasing around the outside of the fence causing them to worry and scurry. Oh well, I guess they all got some exercise and excitement.

The wood furnace has a new seal around the door so the smoke stops leaking out and goes up the flue instead of into the basement and then the house. So now maybe I won't feel like I'm living with a camp fire blowing smoke everywhere I walk. I may have to leave the door cracked open once in a while though just because I like the smell of wood smoke...

A few more fields are cleaned up and the encroaching woods are trimmed back and ready to get into when the weather allows next spring.

As I was walking home from my daughters after getting the grandkids on the bus this morning I was noticing how brown everything has become.

I couldn't see that this early in the morning a week ago, but the time change has made it a bit brighter now during the early hours of the morning.
There are no leaves left on the trees of the mountain. There are very few left on the longest lasting trees in my yard. But there are plenty on the ground. That is one of the few jobs I have left to finish up sometime today.

As I got back to my place I took notice to the trees and bushes around the yard that need some of the lower branches trimmed so I don't have to duck and dodge them as I'm walking around. That made me smile.

Not so much that my grandmother was mean, but more because we boys were so much like my pup Rowdy. We were always into and up to something ornery and were getting into trouble.

But I can not ever remember having a need to trim any trees or bushes around the lawn or near the house. Grandma kept them pruned by taking of switches to use on our back sides!

That woman could bend, twist and snap off those green twigs faster that you could scream and run!
That was around fifty eight years ago and I can still not begin to tell you to this day how it's done with such perfection, grace and speed. I've tried and tried, but still have to go get some pruning shears...

Some may feel she was wrong in using her switches over our back sides. Some may think she was the most horrible being in the world.
But as I think back she taught us to listen and behave or face the consequences.

Because of her caring enough to do so we didn't have to face the police teaching that after we grew older by locking us up. We learned that when authority spoke, you listened and heeded. We learned that by breaking the laws or rules there would be consequences to be paid and those consequences would in some way hurt. And the more you fought against those rules, laws and consequences, the more you would get hurt!

So in a way we learned to be responsible for ourselves and our actions. Or misactions.
To this day that too is a huge part of what keeps me smiling.

I understand there are rules and laws that must be followed for the good of humanity as a whole and I understand that they must be followed or worked at in a humane way over time to be changed. Not just ignored and broken when I feel like it.

So thank you grandma, mom and dad for the lessons and the spankings.
I may not have been smiling then, but I'm sure smiling now!

Now as for grandpap... Well he did dish out a very few of those spankings. But I swear he was more often the cause!
I do think he taught me the best of my orneriness. And for that I thank him.

Friday, November 9, 2012


Feelings have a way of getting us in trouble. Feelings have a way of getting us embarrassed. Feelings have a way of leading us to hurt.

But they also can lead us to good things. Good experiences. Even to that crazy little thing called love.

Everyone desires good times. Everyone appreciates good things. Having good experiences is always fun and enjoyable and leads to great memories.
And I'd venture to say everyone loves love. Being loved, giving love, sharing love and all the great things that come from love.

Maybe not necessarily every moment spent with the children that come from love, but generally we all appreciate the kids. They do have a way of making us smile at the least expected moments. Have a way of making us proud when we least expect it.

Yet how do we get past the trouble, the embarrassment, and the heartache that feelings can lead us to...

Maybe by learning to carefully guard our first feelings.
Maybe by taking the time required to learn about whatever or whoever is causing our feelings.
Maybe by thinking some things through before we take action or let action be taken towards us.

From a little rock climbing experience I learned to take the time to plan my route well before starting to climb. Also learned to take my time and rethink my plans after I started and choose another route when it seemed to make more sense.
By doing that I never had a bad fall that laid me up in a hospital or worse.
Yet I do have many great memories which make me smile from my time spent doing such a crazy thing.

With the cross country and hill climbing on a motorcycle I learned to plan out my route. Sometimes making changes very quickly when unexpected or unseen obstacles got in the way.
Again I never had a really bad accident. Just some small ones. But I always was able to walk away with only a bit of embarrassment at times.

With these two things and more I felt they would be fun. And fun they were!
I did get hurt a little at times but because of thinking things through I was not hurt really bad.

Could it be that when we have feelings of friendship and love that we could take the time to learn about the people we are having those feelings for and maybe get hurt a little less when they finally show their true colors and bad habits?

It is after all, when we rush into things that we tend to get hurt the worst.

There will always be pain in life, yet it doesn't have to be bad pain if we do plan our ways and take our time learning.

The less pain we allow ourselves to be submitted too, the easier it is to regain our smile.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Who Won ? Certainly Not The People.

Well imagine that. Same president, same senate, same congress. Some faces have changed yet all remains the same.
We the people lose...
Hope not, but for some reason I think we will stay in this stagnated mess.
The only ones I have seen win in quite a few years is the politicians and their big business, corporate backers.

Until the working class and the poor wake up and quit being blind followers, not a thing will change.
I just wonder if when they finally wake up, or get fed up, what will happen.
Will they find leaders who they will back as a candidates who will make the needed changes? Or will it be another war like in Europe which brought on World War One when the upper class took life and the lower class people for granted?

It really makes me wonder what my grandchildren and their children will have to deal with during their lives.

Wonder how many of the people who said if their candidate lost they would leave the country are going to follow through with their word!
Not a darned one I'd guess. This entire world is in a mess right now so where would you go and expect anything would be any better?

I did start hearing some republicans saying something about beginning to help small business. Lose some of the red tape it takes and give them some tax breaks.

Red tape is not something I had to deal with when starting my business years ago, but then my business was myself. Not any type of corporation and certainly not one I ever intended to allow to grow beyond my immediate control.

As for tax breaks. Shoot, I never needed them. I just struggled my way through and kept building my business and buying equipment as I could. It's not the tools and equipment that make a business good. It's the people who have the desire to make a go of it and are willing to do what needs done. Including doing without some of the nicer things sometimes.

I guess if I'd have wanted to allow that business to grow to something larger those things might have been a help.
Yet still I will go to the grave believing that really caring about yourself and the customers is what it takes to make a business grow and succeed.
It's when you start doing for only yourself and putting your customers last that you will and deserve to fail. And a business that does that does not deserve to be bailed out by the tax payers through the government!

If a truly needed business fails someone with fresh and better ideas will fill the spot.

Depending on yourself and caring about those you deal with is what it takes to succeed and keep a healthy smile.

And I do suspect that is all we will have for at least the next four years as we continue to pay our taxes to a government that is misguided and refuses to believe in a true government of the people and for the people.
Would it have been any better if Romney would have won?
I highly doubt it.

Until someone comes along that believes in helping the people to help theirselves, not a thing is going to get any better.

As the old saying goes, “give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will eat forever.”

If a government keeps bailing out people and business instead of teaching them how to bail theirselves out, how can it's people ever learn to do for theirselves and have a decent life and a smile...

Monday, November 5, 2012

Be Prepared And Smile More

I live four miles away from the nearest small town. About seventeen miles from a larger town.
The small towns used to have decent small grocery stores, hardware stores and even stores you could buy clothes and electronic gadgets.
It was a one day field trip at one time to go to the larger towns where stores seemed to climb to the clouds, were packed together side by side and carried about anything you could possibly want.

I learned a thing or two in my younger days thanks to that. Possibly the most important thing I learned was that it's best to be prepared not to be able to get to a store to get things on a regular schedule.

I also learned not to depend on anyone else including the government, to be there to help if help was needed. During major snow storms or even with a power outage from a wind storm, we might not see the local township government clean up crews with snow plows or with chain saws and equipment to open a road for over a week.
They have many miles of roads to take care of and it takes time to work through them. So having to wait for help is no surprise.

Sometimes, some people look at many of the things I have and consider me a hoarder. Maybe in a way I am. Yet when something bad happens I have the tools, equipment, food and supplies to make it through without depending on outside help. I don't hoard junk. I hoard necessities.

Over the years with more and more people having more an more cars and better roads, the small stores have almost vanished. There are the convenience stores at almost every gas station. But what they carry on their shelves can sell out in a hurry. That's understandable when you look at the nonexistence of their storage space.

I also burn oil for heat. Yet I keep backup heat handy should the power go out. I have a few oil lamps that make nice decorations yet can be used for light should I not have electricity. Have a gas stove and the burners will allow me to cook without electricity. Still have a camping stove too which takes up very little storage room along with some other camping supplies.

All that stuff takes up very little room to store. Yet when an emergency occurs it's handy to get to and use. When I do go on long fishing trips I have that stuff for them and don't have to scurry around buying new.

Much of my hoarding was learned. Some from the old timers I grew up learning from and some from life experience.

The old timers knew something we seemed to have forgotten over the years thanks to all the convenience's of today.
They knew that ultimately we are all on our own and have to be able to rely on our self.
They knew that unless you lived in very close proximity to the seat of local government, you'd not get help until much later. Maybe not until too late...
They knew that with federal government being so far away it would be as good as no help at all until much to late.

I guess it's a nice thought that big government can take care of us. But is that even a practical thought?
Even if government can help it will have to take care of itself first. Then trickle down to the rest of us.
It will also have to make decisions on who to help first. The most endangered and the most needy will be first. Not necessarily you.

The best government still needs and relies on the people. The people can't rely on the government.

Seems to me that every time many people start to rely on and get comfortable thinking the government can protect and help them, something else comes along to show them it just isn't true.

But do the people learn?

This one has. Possibly because this one has figured out that in order to keep a smile I must depend on myself.
Then when I can help myself and smile, I can help out others that are near me that need help and put a smile back on their faces quicker.

Heck, when was the last time the government helped you have a really good smile...

Friday, November 2, 2012

It Is Something You Can Live Without

I have absolutely no idea why this is going through my mind at the moment.
There are other things I should be doing. Many other things, I could be doing.
Maybe there is something I need to figure out, though I don't seem to be getting that.
Maybe there is someone who needs to hear it to help give sense to their life.

I'm not even sure I'm a man anymore. Nor does it even matter to me.
Only thing I'm sure of is that I'm a soul stuck inside a body that is stumbling through this life having fun where I can find it and smiling along the way.

I stumbled upon the happiness I now feel, the contentment that fills my mind.

After my wife left me with two very young children I tried dating. I was working, taking care of the farm and raising two children the best as I could.
When I would be dating someone they would get angry because I was working so much. Angry because children took up so much of my time. Would display jealousy of my time spent with children.

The humor there? Women say they want a responsible man, yet when they had it they decided they didn't want it...

I made the decision to concentrate on my work and children. I wasn't getting any younger and had plans to retire from work as young as possible. Made the decision that raising my children was the most important thing I would be doing in my life. Made the decision to put dating aside.

Loneliness wasn't a problem. I was to busy working and being a parent to have time to feel lonely except at the end of the day before I fell asleep.
But the physical urges were another problem.

It wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination! But I managed to overcome them.
I used my mind to control my body.

I did not explode.
Nor did I die.

What I have come to realize is that I've reached a point of apathetic euphoria.

Now it gives me humor to see that even though I hear women complain about men never wanting or thinking about anything but sex, since I'm in a place where I could not care less about it, there seems to be no woman who wants me.
Even one woman who approached me thought she did, seemed to change her mind because of my apathy.
Yet I had very little struggle coming home alone and returning to my contented life of playing and smiling.

I care about the events and what happens in the world around me, yet I'm realistic enough to see that I can only work to control what is near. I can however reach out with my words in an attempt to make the world a better place with the things I have learned along the way.

That is though, if anyone cares to make the choice to hear.

Think about the time of your childhood. Did you miss sex or need someone of the opposite sex then? Just how long did you live without it before you ever had it?
That time was spent playing laughing and learning.
Enjoying life.

How about the times when you have no one and you are happy just doing what you like!
Enjoying life.

It's really no different than a diet.
Once you overcome the physical urges you can have a healthier, happier life.

Ehh only a little. The more you find things you enjoy doing the less you begin to feel loneliness.
Your too busy enjoying and smiling.