The Visit with Sasquatch
It was a winters day. Me, I was out trying to mend a broken fence.
I pulled the wire back into it's proper position and hammered in the steeples to hold it in place. Must of hit my thumb a hundred times if I hit it once. Now for those that don't know. Hitting the wrong nail with a hammer hurts so badly it makes you want to take back things you never stole to begin with! But on a cold day. Even worse. On a bitter cold day. Well, it brings tears to the eyes and words across and through the lips ya wouldn't want mama to hear...
Now I was about finished after having trudged through the knee deep snow. After fishing under the snow for the downed fence. After smashing my thumb more than hitting the steeple. After loosing more steeples than using.
Still can't understand why when dropped steeples can't be found... They're bright shiny pieces of metal. But... Steeples have the magical ability to just disappear when dropped. Probably enough of them laying in fields, along fence rows, to melt down and build a sizable fleet of semi trucks!
Well like I was saying, I was just about done.
Out of the corner of my eye I caught a movement coming up the road. I looked up.
Well now, I couldn't believe my eyes. I'd always heard of him but never, never did I think that I'd have the pleasure, maybe with an added touch of fear. To see Sasquatch! But there he was, coming up my road. Bigfoot, bigger than life!
Now I'm kind of a friendly guy myself. But I wasn't to sure this was quite the time to be very neighborly. Now if this guy isn't feeling to friendly himself, I could be in for some serious trouble. Maybe I was so full of fear I just couldn't move...
He trudged over to me though, so alright, maybe I wasn't in to much of a dilemma. Maybe, just maybe he was an OK guy.
Now my friendly disposition kicked in. I nodded and said “hi”.
Don't know what he said, it sounded kinda muffled. And heck, I don't know English all that well and I sure don't speak any foreign language. I am too, a bit hard of hearing. How was I to understand what he was saying. I never heard of any Sasquatch going to school.
Well my friendly disposition kicked in and I said, in that louder voice we use when speaking to someone who speaks a language we don't know, follow me. And I waved my arm in that universal follow me way.
I headed to the house! Put the tools on the porch and again with that universal follow me wave, with that loud it'll help him understand voice, said come on in. I was sure even Bigfoot would appreciate some warmth on such a bitter day!
We walked through the door and I pointed at the chair and said, or near yelled, sit right down here I'll be right back.
Interesting, he did kinda seem to understand what I was saying. Maybe the louder voice works. Maybe by lurking through the woods near communities he may have picked up a little English and could at least half understand me. I don't know...
I went to the kitchen. Pulled out a cup with a bigger handle for his bigger hands. Grabbed my cup. Poured both of us a nice hot cup of coffee. Surely, even ole Sasquatch would like coffee. I know I do, and would relish it on a nasty cold day like this if I was out walking.
Carried those coffee's to the living room and sat his on the stand and said, drink up.
Now I noticed a puddle forming around him. The chair was getting wet. It'll dry. This guy has been out in the blowing snow and, it's gonna melt off of him. No big deal...
Now he wasn't much for conversation. Only mumbled here and there. I just couldn't understand so, I turned on the TV. We sat there a bit and I just figured he'll talk when he feels like it. I've had those days myself...
Now every now and then I'd glance over and I did take notice the puddle was growing. But as I said before, it's to be expected...
After about twenty minutes I began to see he was looking a bit smaller. Well in my mind it was no big deal. After all I'd seen cows that looked like they gained two hundred pounds because of wind blown snow. Shame was it didn't last. I was sure that was his problem also.
Little later I could a swore I was seeing a coat under all that snow and ice. ??? Couldn't quite figure that out so I just want back to looking at the TV. Didn't want to look rude by staring.
Guess I was beginning to nod off when I heard a voice. I looked back in ole Sass's direction.
Let me tell you I about fell of the couch!
The snow and ice had melted away and there on my chair. There sat my old buddy Tom! Now Tom is a big guy, but not that big. But what I speculated to be Bigfoot, because of the natural covering of ice and wind driven snow, was Tom!
Seems he was out and about and slid off the road and into a ditch. Well after climbing outta his stuck truck he figured he'd walk to my place to get some help.
The wind blew, the snow blew, he about froze! Said he had some trouble that last half mile or so when the buildup of ice and snow slowed him down and made it a bit hard to walk.
We had a good laugh, drank a few beers, then climbed in my truck and went and pulled his outta that ditch.
He went home, I went home.
Don't know if that puddle is ever gonna finish drying...
Now any resemblance of fact is one hundred and fifty seven percent totally by accident.
In no way were any icicles harmed in the fashioning of this tale.
A few flakes were melted, but they were disposed of in a competent, environmentally safe manner.
Ain't sponsored by any one but a darned ole fool with maybe a bit to much time on his hands.
But I do hope this story filled a little time, took away some lonely for a while, and maybe gave ya a smile!
I had my fun just making it up : )
Tales from a lonely ole guy with a sense of humor...