OCIM - Motivation

Monday... I don't like Monday. Monday is a tough day to get started.

During spring, summer and fall, I have no problem. Monday is OK. But winter...

I don't want to be out in the snow and cold. I don't want a winter wind blasting at me and making me shiver. I don't want to be slipping on snow and ice. I like being able to just stop and talk to people when I'm out, but not during the winter. Then it just feels like torture...

As a younger guy I enjoyed winter. It was fun. Sliding down icy hills, sledding, snow ball fights, building snow caves and forts. Heck if you would grab a shovel and help out people by shoveling the snow, you could earn your movie, pool, bowling, and fun money. Cold didn't even feel all that bad. But now... With worn out joints. A back destroyed by years of hard work, a few bad falls, and some really dumb decisions. Winter is just plain painful. All I want to do is be like a bear and hibernate!

All of this has me motivated and considering buying a place or building one, near an old and dear friend who left PA and moved to Florida. I did visit him during the winter and what he felt was cold... To me felt like summer!

But that, for me, brings a whole lot of it's own problems.

I would never give up this farm on top of the mountains. It's in my blood since birth and has given me so much happiness. Completely leaving it behind would be like living without a heart. So, I'd be keeping and worrying about two places. My son is here and says he definitely wants this place, but would he take care of the place or know what to do when something did go wrong... Another place in Florida? Who would watch over that during spring, summer and fall...

Starting my own contracting business was motivated by the people I had worked for. I was tired of them making the big money and paying me as little as possible. I was tired of running their business while some of them sat in bars. I was real fed up with getting all the blame when something outta my limited control went wrong, but never getting credit when things went great. Then while talking about it... I was told I could never do it and succeed...

Even through my years working as a contractor I made sure I saved all I could during the spring, summer and fall. Then would not sign any contracts or even plan any work for January, February and early March.

My motivation was not wanting to deal with ice and snow to do my work. Not dealing with idiot drivers on the roads.

If the weather was not to bad I'd take on the occasional small inside job. But for the most, I was on vacation. Heck, I worked doing construction and farmed the rest of the year so I could do it, and it worked. I'd put in sixteen or more hours a day between the two but I loved every second of it and knew that I would not have to face the agony of winter and its heavy storms. It was the motivation and planning that made it possible. Then the drive towards the success of those plans that made it work.

Like that thing with Florida. First the idea. Then the planning. Then the preparation and on to the getting. In this case, the motivation is me getting outta this cold, snowy, icy weather...

Heard a guy say it takes courage to go after what you want. You have to have courage to get past all the doubt and the people that tell you it's impossible and you can't do it.

Once again, my big mouth just opened and my thoughts poured out. I mumbled, not for me. I'm just to dumb to realize the definition of impossible... That got a few smiles and laughs.

But for me it's just the mindset that works. Even as a boy, when told I couldn't do or have something, my extraordinary bull headedness would kick in and that would be the motivation for me to succeed. Even when it got me in trouble with the parents...

No, can't and impossible... They can be motivation if you like proving people wrong. They sure are to me. I like making doubters eat their words...

Right at this minute that idea of having a winter place in Florida and still having this place seem impossible. But... Plans are being formed. If a few things I have in the fire work out, and it sure looks like they will, (If not plans can be altered... ) this to will be achieved.

One really great line has helped me considerably.

“Anything the mind can conceive and believe in can be achieved.”

Not sure where or when I first heard that but it has kept me going for a long, long time.

So what do you have as motivation, how do you get things done?

Or are you just stuck getting the motivation to get motivated...

No Tomatoes

It's no secret. I didn't always see eye to eye with my dad. So while he was still here on the farm I lived in other places. At times cabins out in the woods, at times in small towns.

I've always had a great love for dogs. Dogs are just the coolest people you could ever have around. At the time you need it most they always do something to amuse you and make you feel good or astonish you. When your feeling blue they sense it and are just there for you, laying their heads in your lap and looking at you with those I understand eyes. At times though they can make you think your crazy.

Well before moving back here to the farm the last time, I lived in one of those small towns. The neighbors that I got to know were all pretty nice people and the ones I didn't, well they wouldn't even wave or nod when you went by and tried to say hello. (Thems the people that make me not like town and city living...)

Now I like gardening too. Fresh, self grown food always tastes the best! Plant and vine ripened make such a flavor difference that the work involved is worth it.

Well my last summer there I had my garden in the bottom end of the back yard. Near an apple tree. And my old dear departed friend was tied up near the apple tree. His name was Max. He was a coon hound I'd gotten as a pup and we grew very close over the years with our adventures into the woods after dark in search of elusive coons. We fished together, hiked and camped together. Heck we even drank beer together. But that's another story...

I had about three dozen tomato plants in that garden which all produced fantastically. Except one...

One measly plant. I'd see green tomatoes on it but never even one would ripen and they were just gone. The other tomato plants around it did great!

Then one day I was visiting with my favorite neighbor in his workshop and we were looking out his window while we were talking. Looking straight over at Max. Can't tell ya what our conversation was about but it probably had something to do with a woodworking project he was working on.

All of the sudden my neighbor, who was a retired coal miner, got the biggest smile on his face. I had moved and had no idea that he was watching old Max. He said look, and pointed out the window. I looked...

So that's where my tomatoes were going... Max had his chain stretched out to the limit. His neck stretched a little farther. His paw swinging at a tomato. He managed to catch it just right and draw it back to within his mouths reach. And there it went...

He held his head high with pride as he wandered back to the porch of his dog house with his hard earned snack between his teeth. He then laid down and enjoyed the fruit of my labor.

My old neighbor got quite a laugh when I said that I was wondering why that one plant never had a ripe tomato. Then he told me that Max would do that every day at least once.

Guess I wasn't the only one who appreciated vine ripened tomatoes...

Next year we were here and the garden was about a hundred feet away. I did think of Max though. I planted two tomato plants near enough to his house that he could still have his tomato snacks as they ripened.

That got even more strange looks and laughs from people when they'd ask about it...

Only problem was that when fall came he had to scurry out to the orchard and carry back ripe apples that had fallen... Yup, he liked them too!

Matter of fact he liked them so much he'd swipe mine from the truck when he'd ride along... I finally gave in and made sure I'd have two.

Tales of a lonely ole guy with a sense of humor...

Dinner For You

Even though there is no one special in your life, that is no reason not to treat yourself well. Take yourself out for a nice dinner, or better yet, order takeout and dine at home, complete with candles if you like them and a good bottle of wine. You should appreciate yourself even if no one else is around.

Why not rent that movie you have wanted to see. You could make some popcorn, fix a drink and sit back and enjoy. There won't be anyone to interrupt at the wrong time and you can really enjoy. Well unless like here... No one calls until I'm trying to do something...

Even better you could peruse my little ole blog site. Ya might find a few laughs. May find something to think about. I doubt it but hey, never know, ya might learn something...

If you have something to say, comment. I don't mind... Heck it would be nice to know that someone thinks enough to comment.

But first and foremost treat your self the way you should be treated. You deserve love and a little pampering so do it for you. Just because Mr. or Ms. Right hasn't come along yet doesn't mean you should let your self do without.

Take real good care of you and someone may notice and find you irresistible. In the least you'll feel good.

As for Mr. or Ms. Right.

Well they probably really don't exist. Perfection is way to hard to find. If that even exists...

Every one I have ever known has some little imperfection. Some not so bad, some really horrible... Question is can that imperfection be overlooked. How bad does it really bug ya? I've even found some that start out bugging me end up being the thing I like most about people. A few little quirks like saying dumb things, well they ended up being so funny and made the people enjoyable to be around. Most times I find out they actually knew what they were saying but were just saying things for the humor. Hmm, I do a lot of that my self...

Uh, be a little careful if ya might decide to dance alone in your underwear.

Hate to say it but I live way out in the country on a back road. So hardly ever does anyone just come around. Especially during the day because of work.

Well... One afternoon it started raining. I made my way to the house and peeled my soaking wet clothes off. After sitting and having a warming cup of coffee I decided to vacuum. I had the stereo on kinda loud. Well, a good tune came on and yup, I started dancing with the vacuum. In my underwear.

Uh hu... Some Jehovah Witness lady came to my door... I have very few curtains, the few I do have are never closed, and the inner door was wide open...

To late, what could I do, I just hollered and asked if she'd like to dance along. She left...

Guess she didn't like my chubby physique and big ole beard...

For about three years I didn't have one of them come back to try and save me!

Sometimes I guess bad situations do work out for some good...

Wonder what she told all her buddies...

Good thing it wasn't a really scorching hot day! I'm not tellin about them...

So yah, use your own judgment (and I hope that's better than mine at times) and treat yourself nice. Have some fun on your own. Enjoy your self a little and keep on smiling!

OK, now where's that wine...

Mom Is A Job

* Warning for men! * OK guys! You've got 2 weeks and 4 days left until Valentines Day...

Just why is it that in todays society mothers are made to feel like second class citizens?

Why do we have the term “stay at home mom”? Shouldn't it be “away at work mom” for those that do?

So many mothers are coerced into getting jobs outside the home... So many feel pressured by economical situations. And I'm sure there are those women who just would rather work than take care of their offspring...

Call me nuts if you want but... Mothers are the nurturers of our helpless children. Without them children wouldn't survive.

And because so many are not stay at home moms, it seems society is suffering. Morals and family values are in a pitiful state!

Those that take care of the children also teach morals. Now as I came to see it during life, you have the first five years of a child's life, at most, to impress some good morals and values. After that they learn things on the school grounds from all the other little kids. If the morals and values of those kids are lacking then just what do you think they will be saying and doing... So what will your children be learning? Then the real battle to keep them on the right track begins...

At least with a decent background, learned from mom, a child will have a reference later when they need it or are willing to accept it.

Do you really think that any babysitter will care about your children the way you do?

Day care centers? Even worse. There is no way possible they can provide the one on one that a mom should or would. The way I see it, it's no different than putting the cows in the barn. They're housed, fed and watched over, but they are still on their own... If something goes wrong they can't take care of it by their self. If some wild animal breaks in can they protect their self? If another cow goes wild they're left to defend their selves. Only when I check on them would I be of any help and by then it could be to late... Well same could be the case in day care. Who will the workers there be with, when some kid teaches your child to talk like a Sailor... Or something worse happens!

Do you really think you can pay someone enough to care? Sure you interviewed your child care center or babysitter. (Didn't you...) But how many people do you work with or have known about, that are the trouble makers and slackers? Were they not interviewed and managed to slip by?

If we had to pay mothers what they deserve, we could never afford it.

Other than your own family I doubt anyone could care even half as much as you. And some of them may be a stretch... Even they should be only a last resort for a single parent that absolutely has to work.

I also don't understand how it can be possible to have any money left to help with a families monthly bills and expenses. The extra car to get to work, the gas, insurance and upkeep. The need for clothes needed to work. The higher tax bracket. Then the cost for child care. Doesn't that eat up that extra pay check?

Back on November 24, 2010 I went on about the importance of mothers, so I'm not getting into that here. If you want read it at “This World Belongs to Women”

As for being coerced into getting a job by people (especially other women) saying that a woman is not a person if she isn't working, or some of the other hurtful things they say...

I can only figure that they never really thought it through. There is no job more important than mom. Maybe they're jealous or maybe they are the women who don't want to be moms... And probably shouldn't be.

As for any guy that would think their wife, the mother of their children, should work... Pal, that's your future that will be suffering. You couldn't begin to pay her what she's worth for that 24 hour a day job. With not even a hope for a vacation. Bud, when your children enter the adult world, do you want them making you proud, or embarrassing you...

Some do think mom is nothing. Many moms are unappreciated. But, anyone who has taken on that responsibility knows better.

We had better all start realizing the importance of mom and start appreciating them the way they deserve!

If your a woman who believes that a career doing anything other than mom is more important... Maybe you should find a man willing to do that job. Men can and in many cases, do a better job!

If your a man and married to or even thinking of marrying a woman who feels a job is more important than mom... Maybe you should consider becoming Mr. Mom.

There is absolutely no other job that has more importance than raising the future of this world.

So next time someone says, “oh, your a stay at home mom”. Bull!

Come right back and say, “no, I'm a mom, not an away at work mom”! Take pride in the important job you do!

If I offended anyone with this, to darned bad. Maybe you should reread this and really think about it... Mom's make this society! Good or bad...

Your Life, Your Responsibility

All your whinin and cryin and pitching a fit, get over it.

I'd like to take your inner child and kick it's little a**.

Do those lines ring a bell? Sound familiar? Do you know them and have many more Eagle tunes streaming through your head now? If ya do... Ya might be getting old...

They're lines from a song by the Eagles. Duh, who's that? Google it. While your at it Google Get Over It by the Eagles. Check out the lyrics. Let me know if, like me, you agree.

First time I heard it I had to give it a second and third listen. After listening and learning the lyrics I immediately adopted it as the song that represented almost all of of my feelings about whining people.

Whining people don't want anything better. They like their little world full of things to whine about. Then they have something to try and make people feel sorry for them...

Only problem with that we just get sick and tired of it. We try and offer some helpful advice but you just ignore us. You deny that there is a better way or at least something to try, without even considering a try. You like blaming everyone else for your problems! You don't even attempt to look inside for an answer or accept that YOU can change how you let others make you feel. You love hanging out with hurtful people so you can continue to whine... Well, why don't ya just go find a place where you can be alone and cry. I'm sure I'm not the only one that just don't want to hear it any longer.

Like another line in the song says, If you don't want to play, then you might as well split!

Only line I don't agree with is what they say to do with Lawyers. Though that idea has ran through my mind in the past, it just isn't a moral solution. I think we can get rid of them by not using their services and prodding others to do the same.

Look, I despise snakes. In my mind I harbor an idea that the only good snake is a dead snake. I don't spend enough time looking to see if one's bad or good, I just run. I've given quite a few people reason to laugh but, I'm gone when I see a snake in the fields or woods. If he's in my lawn, he's dead. We have an understanding that anywhere but my lawn is OK but if one comes here I get a shovel and it's diced into nice bird food.

I do understand that they are good mousers and they eat tons of insects but not in my lawn...

Well, same for Lawyers. They do have a needed job to do. Some just do it for money and don't seem to care how stupid their being by using and clogging the courts for ridiculous law suits. They are just aiding people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions.

That is just my opinion, you make your own...

If all you do is sit around and whine and will not even listen to advice or try. You my friend have a problem. If you think your trying, you may not really be giving it your best. Or you may need to listen to some of us older fools who have been there before you.

If you know someone who acts like this then maybe you should get this song and play it every time they start whining. It's on the Hell Freezes Over album, CD, or whatever.

Personally I think every radio station should play this three times a day. Morning, noon, and night.

Maybe then the whiners might get a clue...

State of the Union

So it's coming. Like it or not we're gonna hear it. If we shut the TV off, we're gonna read about in the News or hear about it on the streets from others talking about it. Yup, we're doomed...

Doomed to listen to, or about all the BS and lies. Maybe a few dreams mixed in...

Who knows maybe we'll get to hear or see some more disrespect shown by our leaders.

That's always a chuckle for me. Heck why don't they just shoot the moon like a silly kid?

They really show their intelligence and dignity with their actions, don't they...

Now I'm reading that we're going to have “broad new support” for military families. Uh hu... Heard that before. That should have been taken care of years ago but still we don't.

I read that someone says the speech will “push the need for US competitiveness. Yup, we lost that with NAFTA. So there's another I'll believe it when I see it.

I read that some polls are supposedly showing that Americans are wanting stricter gun control to guard against mass shootings. Even read that New York's mayor wants to hear about tighter gun control in the speech. “?”

You've already heard so many statements about that and I'm trying hard to keep myself from rehashing them.

All I'll say is, if you take the guns away, what are they going to use next? Gun control wouldn't stop a made up mind from making a bomb. Nor from turning their self into a walking bomb. Then if you consider it you'll find that almost anything can be made into a lethal weapon... Sorry, gun control will not end it.

What do you want to hear in the State of the Union speach?

That Congress will not waste the next half year picking apart Obama's speech but will instead get straight to needed business?

That all the countries we're trying to help are going to give us a good price on oil?

That the economy will be repaired if people will just start buying American made products, and food from US farms?

That our Government will focus on letting, we the people, create the needed jobs and get out of our way with all the money taking taxes?

That by letting people create good jobs and making the international playing field even for us, that health care will be at least be possible?

That the rich people Obama's putting in his cabinet are going to pay off the national debt.

Or that the Government is going to launch an all out war on the bed bug spread.

It's all just BS anyway...

How long can the people keep hanging on while our Government keeps playing games?

People are becoming desperate, many are feeling they have nothing left to lose. We're seeing more and more unrest and senseless killing.

I fear that after the, make nice party going on now, the appeasing of the Tea Party, and other political BS is over that the rape of the people will continue on it's merry way. Can't ya just hear all the Lobbyists chomping at the bit... Waiting to continue leading our elected politicians to make more decisions to rob the tax payers of their hard earned money...

WE'RE BROKE!

People are losing their homes! Gas prices are eating more of our pay than we do! Many of us can't find a job that's better than decent! We can't even afford to buy American, no, we have to buy the necessities, made in where ever, from Wal Mart.

We need jobs! Not products from other countries. Helping others is nice but. We need to take care of our own house first so we can help others.

For the sake of what is left of our country and the hope for better, open your eyes. The politics of the past several decades are not working. Quit playing the politics as usual game. Get the government out of the way so people can get this country strong once again.

Toss those money grubbing lobbyists out and tell them to raise their own funds. If their ideas are so darned good they should have no problem taking care of their selves. If they are really that good they'll be able to find investors to back them. They will have to pay for that help, but isn't that better than just giving them our tax dollars...

Work at making it possible to start new business and get the job market growing instead of propping up old failing business. If they can no longer hold their own it's time to let them die. New days, new ways. As with Government that doesn't work, let the businesses that don't work rest in peace.

Have the courage to lay the past to rest and get a new start towards a new future for our great country. Whittle down this immense waste of dollars we call a Government so taxes to support it can also be whittled down. Don't continue to keep raising taxes and expect that the people will not catch on. We're not as dumb and helpless as you seem to think.

Some are aware that it was once said we would be taken over without a fired shot. We now fear that you, our Government, are well on the way to doing just that. A little more in taxes and we all will be living in a welfare state. The Government will just take every thing and give us what they feel we need.

But then, is that why there is such a push to take away our guns...

The Raging Bull

Some wild eyed, roaring representation of humanity walked into my life and took every frustration of his miserable existence out on me. It wasn't my fault he was unhappy. I didn't urinate in his cheerios. I was just here to help. Trying to do my job. Just trying to be of assistance in any way I could. But there I was. Forced to take that discourteous drivel and disrespect at a volume that would rival a rock concert!

Infuriated thoughts went racing through my mind! But no... I'd end up in jail. Lose any difficultly obtained respect from anyone who knew me. In the least, lose a job. Moreover lose any chance of that job bringing another. Now it was clear that I would never be working for him, but losing the respect of the customer I was working for or anyone else just wouldn't be worth it. Good reputation is to hard to acquire and next to impossible to repair.

I was there to install siding on a house. Trying to make someones life a little better. But the neighbor felt it was to early to be disturbing his sleep. I understand that people like and need their sleep. But I had a job to do. Would he rather that I would erect lights and do it at night? Then just how many would I upset? I wouldn't be there for long anyway. Just long enough to finish!

With inquisitive neighbors peering out their doors and windows and a worried customer standing on her porch I looked at the bellowing bull before me. I smiled as politely as I could and apologized for waking him. Then while holding back my own anger, I tried to explain that I had a job to do. Told him that there were no covers for hammers that would quiet them during their use and the noise of a power saw bothered me too. I went on to explain that I would not be there any longer than was absolutely necessary to finish that job and when I was through he could sleep to his hearts content. But the longer he was going to keep interrupting me and keep me from finishing my work, the longer it would take for me to finish and leave. I kept my anger and contempt pushed way down inside and spoke in the most calm, respectful tone I could.

He huffed, called me a few more nasty names and stormed away.

Later that day the lady of the house and a few of the neighbors told me this guy was the neighborhood jerk and was always looking for a fight. Then they asked me how I got him to just go away and not start fighting.

Seems a few of the neighborhood guys had problems with him and police were called as a result.

The lady of the house I was working on gave me a smile when she chimed in that I fought him with intelligent words and he could not possibly fight that kind of battle...

Courtesy and Respect. They are just as important today as they ever were!

As adults, what we say and how we say it, are important. One thing to keep in mind is, anything and everything we say will be mimicked by teens and children... They will come up with plenty on their own, do they really need our help?

Dealing with angry people is best done by walking away. When that's not possible, with calmness, a pleasant voice and intelligent words that makes them think. Maybe when they have to think they become confused and even forget their anger. Maybe they just get to embarrassed because they can't understand. I don't know for sure what it is but it works.

I know of one guy who with his smile and politeness, with at times a little feigned dumb thrown in, manages to get out of police writing him speeding tickets. And on a pretty regular basis... Even I am not that good! But he does have those puppy dog eyes...

There are now, have always been and always will be, loud mouthed, uncaring, selfish, ignorant people in this world. There is just no way around that.

We can try teaching our children better and try to set good examples for others in the hope that we can make things better but, I doubt we can put an end to all ignorance.

What's the worst you've had to deal with? How do you deal with them?

Maybe with a few answers in the comments we could help others deal better with bad situations they may face someday!

The Pup and The Old Cat

The pup came here in a moment of nice that I had. Now I'm just getting to old for a puppy. Don't want to train. Don't want to house break. Nothing!

But there was the son... Brought this three month old puppy home. Now he said he was taking it right back where it came from. Then after I played with it a while... He asked if he could keep it.

It was around Christmas and I was weak... I was feeling good about the holidays, thinking of the joy in the grandchildrens eyes and dreaming of the great food and goodies. And he just quickly laid the question on me... I made a few rules and said yes...

Now the rules have been upheld. Some I changed without being asked to, but with the others doing so well I felt I could relax a bit.

Well during the process of training the pup to go outside for his business, and all going as good as could be expected, the pup met the old tom cat, Oscar. Now Oscar got his name because about fourteen years ago when he was dropped of here and I found he was a good mouser, I also noticed he had an attitude. He was a grouch! Sometimes he was as pleasant as you could want but most times... A Grouch. Well my kids were still, once in a while, watching Sesame Street. So naturally I thought of Oscar the Grouch...

At times Oscar acts kinda nutty. So then we call him Ozzie Ozcat. You can figure that out for yourself...

Well first time old Oscar came to the porch when I let the dogs out, the pup, well he just went about his business and left old Oscar alone. Oscar don't get to excited about dogs, unless their really big.

Second and third times went alright. Shortly after that the pup decided he wanted to check this stranger out... Old Oscar hissed and growled a bit but that was the end of it.

About three days later. The pup, who is now about three times the size of Oscar, and I said before he's bulldog but well, he's a pure blood Pitt Bull. He's a joy to play with and from all indications he's going to be easy to train. He's pretty smart. But...

Not smart enough to stay away from a grouchy cat. That pup got a major lesson. He decided once again to check out this strange looking guy who lives outside and in the barn. The guy who mouses about 200 acres and does very well. Even brings home some pretty big game and devours it.

The pup didn't heed the warning of the hiss and snarl. Ignored the fearsome growl. Just kept on trying to stick his nose where it didn't belong.

Old Oscar struck out with his right paw, claws outstretched and anger in his eyes, and snatched that big pitt bull pup right on the nose!

Now this big brave protector of the castle, well he tucked his tail, ran straight between my legs and through the open door into the house and hid.

I could have had a heart attack from laughing so hard...

I finally did get him out of his hiding place so I could check his sore nose and there wasn't a scratch or drop of blood to be seen. When I put him down. That poor thing tried crawling back onto my lap with the saddest, protect me daddy eyes you ever wanted to see.

I did break my number one personal rule and picked him up and cuddled and petted him. But the entire time I laughed and chuckled. I just had to pick on him and tell him once more. That old grumpy cat, well he's the big dog around here and you little Rodeo better learn that real quick.

There have been some pretty ferocious neighbor dogs that have wondered through our fields and I have witnessed Oscar send them home with tails between their legs. He may run up a tree but that only lasts until he gets his composure and decides he's had enough. Then it's claws out and attack. I do always get a laugh about it. Big ferocious dogs being chased by a cat. It's just not natural... But then, I did sense something about him when he was first dropped off along the road, abandoned, and decided to come say hello to me...

Now the next time the pup. Remember the pup? Well next time he was going out the door and he saw old Oscar he made me carry him past that cat.

He's gotten over his fear and can come and go as he needs but when he sees Oscar on the porch he makes a wide path around him.

He will get over his fear in time and I'm kinda sure they will become friends. Heck, during the summer, on really warm days, I'll let the beagle outside all day. If it rains it's not at all unusual to find the Beagle and old Oscar sleeping together in the dogs box. All cuddled up sweet and loving like... So I have no doubt lil Rodeo will do the same. If not he may find Oscar will keep him outta his dog house... : )

Tales of a lonely ole guy with a sense of humor...

For The Lonely

Your probably not going to like this. He**, I don't! But after years of pondering I do believe it's true. It's not a new idea, I've heard it for years and, ugh, yuk and oh no, here it is in my words...

Could it be why we're alone and hurting so bad...

When sex turns to love...

Relationships that begin with sex are sex motivated.

OK the chemistry is a thrill. Sharing that thrill is great. But, is it trouble?

Sexual desire is exactly that. A desire!

Some desires should be set aside. There have been many people with some desires, that have ended up harming or even killing because of their desires.

Some desires are good. Without them we would be happy to stay right where we are and mankind would still be living in caves.

But, let any desire get out of control and it rules your life. Possibly it could ruin your life.

Sexual desire can excite a person to the point of lust. Lust cares for nothing or no one but itself and it's satisfaction.

Desires for the feeling of belonging will lead a person who's alone to a bar. Then later they desire that buzz they get from the alcohol. If they let that desire get out of hand they become alcoholics.

Desire of food. Let that get out of hand and we all know what's next. Now we hate ourselves for getting fat... Kinda that same feeling we get when we're dumped and alone...

So, if we let sexual desire get the best of us, couldn't we just be setting ourselves up for hurt?

Sexual needs... I guess they do exist. But as an old and dear friend, a wise older guy pointed out to me once. Did you ever stop and think how long you lived before you first had sex? Now don't you think you can survive without now...

It will take time to get over that desire but, it can be done. Or at least you can get to the point that it's much easier to do without. Or, much easier to control the desire...

Take a hint from alcoholics. One day at a time. Sex to can be a habit... To break any habit takes courage and time.

Sexual fantasy. Reading all those hot romance stories, ogling the skin magazines and having little on your mind besides... Just leads you to wanting to fulfill those fantasies and again, getting hurt.

I've noticed over the years that all this just leads to using other people to satisfy yourself. The others in your life can be replaced at any time by any one. If, you find that your getting hurt every time you turn around could it be that you keep giving yourself to all the wrong people...

Just maybe are you thinking that other person loves you too, when really all they want is self satisfaction or have some desire of their own to be a porn star. If even in their own mind...

Relationships started with satisfying those needs, desires or fantasies are not one thing more than superficial. Maybe not meaningfully by you, but is your selected partner on the same page...

More likely than not the moment the idea of love is brought up someone's going to cut and run. All of the sudden one partner finds every fault imaginable in the other and that's it. Goodbye. If they even take the time to do that.

Many times today I hear of e-mail break ups, telephone break ups, or someone just seems to have disappeared, vanished from the face of the earth. I'm sure you or someone you know can come up with many other hurtful, selfish break ups by all the cowards...

It's been said, you become what you do... Now if you keep entering into superficial, get it while you can sex, then are you not going to become a superficial sex object... Someone to be used for nothing else... Can you really expect that someone could fall in love with you then...

Can he look at you and really think love? Can she look at you and really think love?

When the idea of love is entered, can it survive?

Want to find out? Be prepared for the hurt that will likely come and quit puttin out!

Love cares about the other. Love does for the other. Love worries about the other.

Love can not visualize being or living on without the other.

Maybe, just maybe next time you should consider finding love first...

Hey Guys, Wake Up

OK guys! You've got 3 weeks and 4 days left until Valentines Day...

You know the nicest places book up early so you had better call and make reservations now!

Or maybe your going to cook a nice dinner for her. Better get that menu planned and that shopping list made... Oh, and don't forget that bottle of her favorite wine!

Now look, if your not a really decent cook don't even attempt it.

And... You do all the clean up and the dishes! I just don't think it would make her very happy to find that there are strings attached to a nice dinner...

Don't forget to line up that baby sitter if you need to. Ya don't want that to get in the way of her special evening do ya?

If your getting her a gift, you'd better start planning and find it!

Maybe even get it early and put in on layaway. You know if ya take it home she'll probably find it... But you could leave it at work or in the trunk of your car. Maybe hide it in the garage if ya have one. But women do seem to have that extra sense that tells them to look, so better make it a darned good hiding place...

Then there is the box of her favorite chocolates too. And don't forget the rose...

Then there's that card... Make sure it says something really nice that reflects your true feelings for her...

Maybe some dancing! You may not like it to much but most women do. Remember how that belly rubbin stuff used to make her? Put your feelings aside, this is for her. Do this for her and who knows what she may do for you...

How about a movie? Now I know most of us can't stand chick flicks but... She likes them. So I'm sure you could sit through one for her. Just bite the bullet and smile. And talk nice just like ya did when you were dating and still trying to impress her.

You should still be doing that ya know...

OK, so don't say I didn't warn ya. There is some time left, but you can save yourself a ton of trouble if ya plan and prepare now...

YOU take care of all the prep and plans and who knows, you may again become that prince charming you once were in her eyes.

But, whatever you do, DON'T FORGET!

Women like talking about their guys with their friends. You forget, your dead meat! Even those friends of hers will pass on the news that the idiot she's married to or dating is a jerk and forgot! Or was a cheap useless piece of dirt!

You give her something real special and she'll be so happy and so proud of you that when she does talk, she'll beam like the August sun! Her girl friends will envy her, her guy friends will be jealous as heck that they didn't think of it. You in short will be a “hero”...

I've given ya a few ideas now use them or come up with your own but just do not forget!

Now for today... Why not call her during lunch or a break? Ask her for a date on Friday night. It may sound corny but she'll probably enjoy it. Even if it's just out to eat. She just needs to feel appreciated and who knows, she may just start feeling that desire for you that she once did. Hey, isn't it worth a try?

Wouldn't you like to have that girl back? Well, you start being that guy she met and adored. It may take some time but it will probably work. She's going to be a skeptic for a while, but she'll come around if she sees your sincere. You do get that, if you bring back some of that romantic stuff, that some of the fun stuff will probably come back too.

Heck, you both may start to feel like a couple of teens in heat again. Isn't that worth trying for? You really may find yourselves falling in love all over again.

Now just go and do it. Good luck and have a great time!

Later Romeo...

Why Do We Lie To Kids

I caught a conversation between two teens. The one was saying about how bad it was to be a teen. The emotions of being in love and getting heartbroken. The turmoils of teen life that leave you lost. The fact (as seen by teens) that adults don't understand. All the crud that makes teens feel that it's just not worth going on... Then as parents and other adults we keep saying your teen years are the best years of your life!

The second teen said adults always lie to teens about it.

Ya know, that really got my mind twisting in so many ways. I pondered it for a bit...

Wait a minute, your parents wouldn't lie to you about it! Your teens years are the best! You have so much ahead of you! Wait until your an adult and just see what problems really are! ... Yah, like that would be encouraging...

I had so many of the same old things going through my mind that I'd heard over the years and even had told to me when I was a teen.

BS! Whats wrong with the truth?

Somewhere, sometime, someone started saying these crappy things that in absolutely no way can help... I even did it with my kids!

It came to my dumb old mind that the truth is, we never figured it out when we were teens, and even worse, we still haven't! So instead of helping we wind up making teens feeling stupid by saying those same dumb things that were said to us and we have heard.

Think about it, how did you feel when you were told those things? Lost? Even more alone? That not one living soul understood you?

That you could get no help and were doomed to a life of these frustrated feelings?

OK, I'm getting up there in years. But I do remember feeling some of these feelings. Then with only a little more thought, I've felt a lot of this same stuff in my adult life! There were always some stupid problems that seemed to have no answer that made any sense.

Heartbreak is there no matter how young or old you are. Why? Why can I love someone with everything I've got but they treat me like dirt. They don't feel the same about me. It still makes no sense. Then all the turmoils that life incessantly throws our way... Why, we try to live a life that has none... Why can they not be avoided?

Bigger question. When we try to talk to someone about them why do we still hear the same old crap?

Then I realized that stuff just doesn't bother me any more! As a matter of fact, I just laugh at that junk now. It's just lifes way of trying to keep me feeling bad so I have learned to take it as a joke. Why not? There is seldom anything I can do about it anyway. Heck, if it weren't for that idiotic crud life would get kinda boring. Yah yah, I could use some boredom too, but it just ain't gonna happen. So it's just an ugly part of life. Might as well learn how to take it as a joke and laugh! Common, how many times have you remembered back and gotten a smile over some of that? It all seemed life ending when we were there but looking back it's kinda funny.

Now I love the heck out of all kids. Yup even the bad ones. Even they have a chance if someone loves them enough to help them and give them a little good advice and direction!

I enjoy talkin to them and laughing with them. Showing them that even an old dinosaur can laugh and have fun. I even like their music. It's all so alive. Most of the time I can even get them to smile and see the funny in their problems. Some times I manage to even help them find a solution that they can live with.

So yah, I ended up breaking into their conversation a little later, reminded them of their former conversation that I had caught...

I pointed out that the adults and parents were not really so much lying.

They just never figured out the answers when they were teenagers. Then as adults they had some of the same and even had adult problems. They never figured out answers then either.

So all they could find to say was the same junky crud that was said to them so they could avoid it. They are human too.

Then that I've come to be old and shicrap, I still don't get it! But I just don't care anymore and just laugh about it because I can't do anything about it and there is always a tomorrow that has hope for something better and more enjoyable.

Problems have always been there, are here now and will always be. It's how we look at them and learn from them that matters. They do hurt but ya might as well learn to have fun with them. Heck, have a problem party to help forget them and see if anyone else can find a solution. Sure beats a pity party...

Some one breaks your heart, well they weren't good enough for ya anyway.

So whats wrong with just letting kids know the truth? We just don't know! Do ya think they won't figure out our goofy old sayings are useless? How bad will you look in their eyes then...

I got some strange looks from other adults when I told them I admitted to my kids that I did a lot of stupid things and didn't know a lot of answers. But I also told the kids that they could talk to me about anything and I'd at least try and help. They could learn from my mistakes.

I never put me on any pedestal... I was just like them but a little older and had been though some of the same junk they were gonna go through. Just maybe I could help or at least be a shoulder to cry on. Isn't that something we all need sometimes?

Some how my youngest daughter and son grew into pretty confident adults. They look for wise ways of dealing with life. They don't seem totally lost in any situation. And they're not afraid to ask for help from anyone. But they also know BS when they see or hear it!

So quit hiding that your not perfect. Tell them that your human and struggling too. That there are some things you just don't know...

But that you will be there as long as life allows as a best friend to talk to, and that you'll always love them for just being them. Even if they mess up.

Hmm, then they might be there for you too when you need it. And you know you will...

I've strained your eyes long enough so I'm outta here, have a great one : )

Politics & Now Generation

The Now Generation...

Gee, do you really think this is something new?

When I was twixt infant and young adult, I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it now. Only difference, it was different things than today. But, times were different and a lot of things that are here today just didn't exist.

Another difference that I observe way to often today... More and more parents do not use the word “NO”! And those that do don't stick by it...

Maybe that is why it takes two incomes. People are dumb enough to give their crying, sniveling brats everything they want. And usually when they want it.

Honestly, could it be the root of many problems today. We teach children that there is no work involved in getting anything. Teach them that anything they want should come immediately. The most they will have to do is throw a fit...

Now I'm quite aware that some parents did this all along. Even when I was young I saw it happen. Some parents it seems are just prone to being to soft. But even then I could see which of the other kids had respect. The ones that understood no meant no. Those that were give everything had little to no respect. Well, is that why there is so little respect today?

Gee, give a kid everything just because they cry... Is that why instead of getting a job so many just set around sniveling that they can't find a job? They can't see that to get what and where they want they may actually have to work for it... What for? Mommy and daddy will keep paying for everything if I just whine. They won't let me run around in basic clothes, they won't let me run around in worn out clothes, if I want new shoes, mom and dad will buy them. I'll never go hungry because mom and dad wouldn't let that happen...

If I want a car they'll get me one. And not some old used car either. So I'll never “have” to get a job!

Yah, great parenting... Great lessons on life!

Uh hu, what boss that had to earn everything he has will hire some sniveling brat?

Allowance... Yah, work for it kid! And as for cleaning your room, helping around the house, or doing yard work... You live here, you contribute! You don't contribute, do without. Don't like what's for dinner, do without. You'll eat when you get hungry!

Ok so today is pick on politics day for this blog, so what does this have to do with politics?

All through history we've had radical nut cases take their disagreements with people in general and the government to extremes. They just couldn't, or refused, to see that anything worth getting may well take time, patience and a lot of really hard work to get!

By the general way that so many people are just giving their kids everything are they possibly contributing to the problems? Their kids will not take a job because they have never learned to work for the basics. They never learned that you just have to start at the bottom. They think that everything they want should be done right now. They never learned patience and perseverance. They never learned that to get anything good, you have to doggedly work for it and in time you will succeed.

Could that possibly be a reason they break down and can't seem to sanely reason? That they just give up and turn to violence? Then they go out and uselessly kill?

So in the end are we allowing the political process of our great country to be slaughtered by the way we are raising our spoiled youth? Do we need to stop right now and again begin to teach our children that they can not just “have” everything their little hearts come up with, when they want it? That they have to “work” for what they want?

That the correct political way, at home or in society, is to have the fortitude to be patient and keep working for what we want?

Again, I don't have all the answers. I'm not some Guru of wisdom. Not some all knowing being.

Heck, I don't even think I have any more than average intelligence and sometimes think it's even below average. And I could easily find way to many to agree with that!

I'm just a guy with a ton of questions and some time to ponder aspects of life that just don't seem right...

So ponder this yourself.

If you can find the courage, leave a comment.

“Dare” to help be a part of a possible solution...

OCIM

We already have TGIF so why not?

OCIM, Ya know, Oh Crap It's Monday... ???

Didja have a quiet restful weekend or was it way to busy and now you need work to rest up?

You do realize that rest is what the weekends are for. Don't you???

But no, we play, have fun, do more work around home, and party so hard that by the time Monday rolls around we need another weekend... And if the boss catches us napping... We're done! Darned guy has no sense of life or humor at all! Hmm, wonder if the boss wears underwear...

Does anyone even want to be at work on Monday... Maybe a small handful of people do but I'll bet the majority would not. Maybe that's why the boss is such a jerk... The boss doesn't like Monday either so their just taking it out on the rest of us because they can...

Nah, that darned crab probably spent the weekend hatching new plans to make us employees miserable... Smiling that stupid grin all the while!

Maybe that idiot by the coffee machine... He likes to come to work on Monday's. He couldn't get away with his stupid, mundane jokes anywhere else. He needs a captive audience! Man I would like to have a eight inch crap flavored gum drop to shove in his big loud mouth!

Why even come to work? My boss hates me, my coworkers are a pain in the rear, I hate my job! What am I doing here? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh !!!!!

Hmm, I need money. Have bills to pay. Need to buy food. I want new clothes. New furniture would be nice...

Maybe a new car... Then I could save up for a fun road trip. Wow, maybe somewhere where no one knows me and I could kick back for a few days and just relax. I could be just as lazy and goofy as I want. No one would know me so why not. Heck, even if they thought I was a complete looser idiot who cares. I wouldn't ever have to go back there again...

Oh well, guess I have to be here. Guess I'd better at least look like I'm a happy employee working away in a bliss filled world... Hmm, maybe if I do that I'll drive those others crazy trying to figure it out...

Maybe, just maybe today I'll start treating everyone, even real butt heads, with all the kindness and respect I can possibly dig up. That would drive them all crazy! ...

Even if some angry customer, who has planned all weekend to come in and make me feel lousy with their disrespectful attitude and foul mouth. I'll keep my cool and be so pleasant and kind that I'll drive them nuts! Who knows, maybe then they'll never come back and ruin my day again...

Yup, I'm just going to keep on smiling and have the entire world wondering just what I might be up to! Hehehehehe, then when they are all insane from wondering I'll take over the world... OK, maybe I can't take it that far...

But what the heck, I can keep on being nice and respectful while I smile all the time. That should keep them busy guessing and wondering. Eh, who knows, I may even start a trend!

The Philosophical Discussion

There I was, trying to carry on a philosophical discussion with the Beagle.

She didn't even have the decency to raise her head. Think I even heard a snore...

The sons puppy, well he sat and intently listened while cocking his head from side to side.

But when I asked what he thought. He just peed on the floor. Guess I know how he feels now!

I dried it up best I could, growled at him, and showed him the door!

While outside with the pup, I tried talking to a bird at the feeder.

I didn't get in to 30 seconds of the philosophical discussion and he got bored and flew away...

I went and visited the cows. Now they listened but I think they paid more attention to the hay.

After a while, one did say “moo” and flung his head around.

Now I don't quite have cow language figured out, but I think he was saying, your disturbing my lunch break. He did go right back to munchin the hay...

On the way back in I tried my discussion with a snow flake, Yup, it melted away...

Tell me, what's a guy to do with no one to hold hands and talk life with...

My guess, just keep on smiling : )

Someone will come around, and that smile will warm their heart...

Tales of a lonely ole guy with a sense of humor...

Oh. It's Friday Again...

In New Years Eve's blog, I asked for suggestions to help people who find themselves lonely, find something to do or a way to deal with loneliness. No comments here. What's new...

On the other site I posted there was a comment about taking vitamin B.

While not the kind of suggestion I was looking for I thought I'd pass it along.

Me, I see being lonely as one thing and suffering depression an entirely different beast. And I do mean beast.

While the two often seem to go hand in hand, I've spent lonely time. I've also spent time where there was no loneliness but was feeling down. I've observed friends, acquaintances and family who were not at all lonely wonder why they were not happy. Everything could be going so well that life was wonderful. But that down, lost, what the heck is wrong with me, feeling was there... That is what I see as depression.

Why it's there, I haven't a clue. I have though been there myself. Now I've got this really bad back that tends to keep me from living my life as I would like to. Sometimes it keeps me from doing anything at all for days. But I get past that.

Before I go on... Forget any suggestions for surgery! I've talked with doctors and just don't like the odds. I'll wait until I can no longer walk and then take my chances that they can help. There is a fifty fifty chance now, or then, that I'll still be able to walk afterwards! It's no fun, but I'll wait.

I did though spend five years feeling like crap. I had heard about vitamin B. I figured what the heck, it could be worth the try. They're really not that expensive.

I bought a smaller bottle of Super B Complex. Imagine that... They really did help!

Pain is still there, at times I feel life stinks because of things I'd like to do or do again, but the mood is way better. Even when I end up sitting out or on the sidelines I can smile and be happy. I don't have that constant feeling of dread!

So why not try it? I'm no doctor though, so maybe ya might want to talk to one first.

I write about loneliness because I know lonely. I know people who are lonely. I just want to reach out and bring a little comfort by letting lonely people know their not alone. Maybe give them a smile, or with a little funny story take them on a short journey away from the loneliness. It's gonna come back, but I've personally found that it's nice to escape loneliness for even five minutes. Sometimes it gives you a completely different perspective on what is causing that loneliness.

I chose Fridays because that was always the day that would be the worst. While everyone else would have someone to be with and had plans for the weekend with others, there are the lonely. Wondering why...

I'm going through another lonely fit right now in my own life. I know the problem this time though. I am just to chicken crap of letting another woman in my life that will just end up causing more heartbreak. Will I ever get over it? Don't know... I do feel it would take one really special lady to even get over the walls for a look. Then I would probably keep her at bay until I felt safe that she just wasn't looking for a good time. I do have this tendency to lay myself all out there when I fall for someone and end up getting steam rolled...

For anyone to get past even the first wall they would have to enjoy country life. Sometimes weeks without going out and socializing with anyone but the cows and wildlife. Would have to understand hard work and either join in or at least not get mad because I spend my time doing it. There are just so few really good days in a season to get things done. When ya have those days and the weather is right, (and now when my back says it's OK) you have to use them to the fullest. When I'm done. Well it's time for a good kick back on the porch, maybe a bottle of wine, and a nice rest. Then there is fishing and hunting. It may be nice sometimes but, I just don't have a need to be out in public to have a good time...

Guess I've been hurt enough and spent enough time alone that I started making priorities more important than just getting a little.

Sometimes being alone is the perfect time to sit and openly think about what is is that you really want. That could be the reason a person keeps getting hurt.

They just don't look for a person who likes them for who and what they are. Some aspects of them might appeal to others but... Do the others really fit.

Maybe, just maybe, it's time to take this responsibility for your own feelings, on your own shoulders. Spend some time with you and think about the character and traits of someone who you want to be with...

Make a checklist if ya have to. I think that would be better than leaving a special someone or even so called friends in your life that end up making you feel like crap!

If nothing else, go forth with your weekend and life, with knowing that you are not “alone”! We, the lonely, are everywhere...