Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Nothing, Keep Out!

You see a guy just sitting with a puzzled look on his face. You ask him what is wrong or what he's thinking about. He answers, nothing. What do you do?
Most women seem to take that as a hint to dig deeper. Then when they don't get an answer they find satisfactory, they get angry. The “you don't love me” syndrome sets in...

Women have a troubled look and men will ask. Then women get angry when asked what's wrong and their answer is nothing. Because men accept that and drop the subject. Men don't see the answer of nothing as a cue for further in depth examination.

Nothing to a man is an answer. Nothing is also a place we go where we can chill. Nothing is a space we reserve in our minds where we go to relax. Nothing is a place we go that we allow absolutely nothing to enter.

If something were to slip by and enter our nothing space it would devastate that space and we would need to hurry and build another nothing space. That would not be a good thing. By laws of nature that are beyond me, women can not enter our nothing space. If they did they would want to put in a little chair, an antique table and probably a vase of pretty little flowers on that table. That would destroy our nothing space and again... We would need to build another nothing space. Men can tolerate nothing in their nothing space!

Women seem to have a need to be thinking all the time. Men don't. Men do not deal with thinking twenty four hours a day. We think when we need to, but we take breaks from thought. When men go to their nothing space they flip a switch and the mind goes numb. Should a little light bulb of and idea come on, they flee that nothing space like a rabbit from a ravenous wolf.

Men run into plenty to think about all day. We take each problem and deal with it. One at a time. Not 20,000 at once. Our problems get solved. Then we are in need of a rest. We go to our calm, quiet, nothing space and rest.

We can in no way understand that women can not find their own nothing space like we do. So we sometimes make a mistake and think they do. So when we ask women what is wrong and get the answer, nothing, we accept that and figure you have become enlightened and have found your own nothing space.

So if something is bothering you, you will need to tell us. Be specific. If we have to play seek and destroy you again will become angry with us. Now I'm not saying that all your problems are not real problems, but men do not see some of your problems as problems. Men see many things as only annoyances. Annoyances do not require seek and destroy tactics. They do not bother us enough to be problems!

Men also do not just talk about problems. We fix problems. If all you want to do is chat about your problems then please, say so at the outset. Don't just start telling us about your problems and then get angry when we suggest solutions.

We find a problem, we think of a solution or ask a really trusted friend or two and get suggestions, then we experiment until we have an answer. We do not chat about problems. To a man a problem is a sign of weakness so the less people that know about problems the safer we feel.

We just seek and destroy. Much the same as our ancestors did when still living in caves. If an enemy finds out you have problem it becomes a point of weakness in your armor and is an excellent point of attack... So the way we deal is perfectly natural! It's manly!

When we listen to womens problems and try and solve them we are only trying to help protect you. We can not understand just talking about them. We are creatures of action. So please, at least try to understand and don't get quite so angry with us.

OK, now I have a problem and I must solve it. I need coffee! I will go and get a cup of coffee. I will then drink that cup of coffee and the problem will be solved!

So go with enlightenment and have an understanding, problem free, smiling day!

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