Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Toilet Debate

The world is making many improvements yet still needs more improving. As a boy I remember many homes not having indoor toilets. Most had water to the kitchen by then because much canning and all food preparation was done there. I even remember some kitchens that had the washing machine in the kitchen.

Well, if one should happen to need to go to the toilet in the middle of the night, they either made the trek to the outhouse with a light in one hand and the toilet seat in the other or used a chamber pot. That would be dumped in the outhouse the next day.

Now I can't say for sure but I'm willing to bet that late night trip was not made during the winter. Outhouses didn't have heat! I was fortunate enough that only while visiting some others I had to use an outhouse. Not a nice nor pleasant adventure...

Along with no heat they also had no running water. There was either a huge bucket that needed emptied when full or a big pit under the outhouse that would be filled over when it was full. So I'm sure you can imagine all the wonderful odors that would greet you. Especially on a hot humid day with no wind!

Outhouses were little rickety buildings made of wood. Usually kinda drafty. There would be flies buzzing about and tickling your rear while you were trying to do your thing. Many other insects liked the outhouse also and would be there to make sure you spent as little time as was absolutely necessary. There were also big monster spiders that inhabited outhouses.

Baths were done in huge tubs usually in the kitchen. It was close to the stove for hot water and close to the drains to bail the water out when done. There was also a bathing order. Kids were the last to use the water before it was dumped. Nothing at all like the luxury that bathrooms are today.

So when I hear the eternal complaints and arguments of toilet seats I smile. How would you like to have to carry the seat to the outhouse? Then fend off the critters while your there? Then only to find out there is no paper to wipe... No one will hear you while you yell for toilet paper!

Men leave seats up. We stand. It takes more effort to lift a seat than to put one down. So why not put it down while your already on your way? Some uncouth slobs won't even pick it up. They just do their thing and spray or dribble all over the seat.

I hear that not only the seat but the lid should be put down. Because of little flying atoms of water that may be carrying stuff. But if that's your worry maybe you should live in one of those environmental bubbles where no germs can bother you.

Back to the seat thing. Look, I'm on the side of women. Put the darned thing down. When I want to take a dump I'm usually in a big hurry and would rather not have to take the time to put one down. But!!! Pick the darned thing up before you P.

I do have a solution... Ever heard of a urinal? Sure you have. Why not install one or have one installed? Then the darned seat could stay down all the time. Heck that would do it for me. Would be the best of the best! Now I wonder... Could we possibly get women convinced to let us do that???

Have a smiling happy day!

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