I want a candy bar. I would like to feel the rich creamy chocolate smothering my tongue. The chewiness giving my teeth pleasure as I chew on it's softness. The mixture of flavors dancing across my taste buds giving even more pleasure as I chew and savor.
But that candy bar could be bad! Like we tell children, the truth is they cause cavities and are unhealthy. We know they can cause fat to form on our bodies. So we deny that wonderful thing. But our kids will eventually find a way to fulfill that desire. Yes, even wanting and needing a candy bar is a desire. Not! A need.
Traveling on through my silly mind we come to desires. I have some desire, if not all, rolled up with an understanding that gives me room to breathe. No longer do desires rule my life and world. Yet they still exist.
As an adult I do my best to stay open to young kids and teens. It's not to hard to be open with adults. But children... That can be tough. Well as adults when kids, I'm gonna use kids now as a generic term, ask some questions or are indicating in some way they are thinking along a particular line, we tend to tell them, just say no! You don't do that until you are in love and married.
Some... will not even go that far. They try to ignore it and pretend it will not exist. I'm pretty sure now you know what I speak of...
Well, it does exist. Has and always will. If as parents we don't discuss it, someone will. Who that someone may be, could be the difference of good learning or bad. Could be the difference between good behavior and bad. Could even be the difference of a life of joy or sadness. It should not be ignored! If we do ignore it will be seeked out and explored anyway.
So I try and stay open with kids. Depending on the age, makes the difference with what I will say. Very young most times do not need details. Just a simple brief explanation and warning. We know the potential risks and outcomes so we should relate them as warnings.
Older kids... when I stay open with them seem to accept me and we can talk. I still observe the eye rolls, but they hear. Many times they will, in a snarky way, ask questions. Them too I will try and answer in the bast way I can find.
First thing outta my mouth though. DO NOT DO IT. Followed by all the warnings I can think of, from STD's to birth. But then I go on and talk with them about it. Not all the details but more the way it can affect them. The way it can become addictive. The many ways it can and will bring heartbreak and pain.
You can not stop it. So ya gotta deal with it in the best way possible. Just get up all your courage and wisdom, and a whole lot of patience, and talk to them. Make sure to include it's a desire, not a need.
But even though I'm a bit beyond those desires myself. They do still exist. I do not want those desires to bring more heartbreak into my life.
I believe that being beyond the need. One could enjoy even more the fulfillment of those desires. Should the possibility arise, I wonder if I would even have the courage to find out.
Yes, that is something that should be reserved for the married. But that too is another thing that's easy for someone who is married to say. There are some who feel it's immoral. Hope they can stand on that should their day come.
I'm on the other side of that. So I'm left wondering, and yes worrying.
Could two consenting adults with eyes and minds wide open, share that wonderful relationship, with out getting hurt by heartbreak.
Tis one difficult subject to ponder! Tis one scary thought to wonder about. Yet I was asked...
So once again smile at the thoughts of an ole fool!