What makes people betray they're loved ones?
That could be about the most loaded question one could ask. Maybe for each there is a different reason. Maybe there is no simple answer. Maybe it's even a combination of answers.
Some answers I've read and heard only lead me to more thinking.
A few I have read and heard are, lack of respect. Greed, selfishness. Genetics, because some are just evil. Someone makes them hot and they act on it. Partner treats them bad or has a bad attitude. They think someone is more beautiful or hot than what they got and they want to be with them. They're bored at home and feel their partner isn't into the things they want. They feel betrayed. Don't feel supported. Not feeling loved. Don't feel loyalty. Or is it just stupidity...
Now when I ponder all these answers I tend to see a very common thread of hope. A thread called communication.
Open and honest communication could possibly cut these reasons off before they would be acted upon. Or in the least could be lessened in the pain by being aware they could happen. It would still hurt, yet you would have made the choice to stay in the relationship.
By listening and learning what's on your partner's mind, you hear what they are thinking in their deeper unspoken thoughts and words. You can be aware that something needs changing or would understand why they feel as they do.
When couples first meet they listen and try to do things to impress and make each other happy. But after they're married some have a bad tendency to take the other for granted and go on pleasing theirselves.
Do that and you'll be pushing the other away. If the only happiness and contentment that is important is your own, you will end up on your own.
People may tolerate their own sadness and unfulfilled desires for a while, but will always have the want to move on.
Love that doesn't grow and adapt will wither and die. Without open and honest communication how can it know which way to grow or adapt...
Heard from one woman who's hubby was always looking at other women's boobs. Of course it angered her. Rather than allow it to ruin what they had that was good, she made a game of it. Now “they” rate the boobs from one to ten. She changed her anger into a game they could both get a laugh from.
She saw, she heard, she adapted.
Maybe though there is something that can't be accepted because of different morals and beliefs. Should you change to suit?
Morals and beliefs are a deep thing that shouldn't change just to fit in someone else's life.
It could be that if a reasonable agreement can't be reached a separation would be for the best. Before destroying the emotional feelings and minds of each other.
There are times people learn something about theirself or change in ways that neither they can explain or we can understand. Possibly even they can't quite understand their change.
Breaking up for any reason is hard. Acts of betrayal, thoughts of was it me, why didn't I see this coming, how could they do this to me... And many, many others. All these things will flow through the mind like a raging river trying to drown us in our sorrows.
We do need our self imposed pity parties, They're a way to vent, to sort our thoughts and file them in our minds. But we also need to move on and have a great life of our own.
Would it be possible to believe that what happens at a certain point in life is always real? It can be cherished in that moment and later can be cherished as a memory?
By not accepting that things, even love, change and many times move on, we over analyze. Then we begin to place blame for our bad feelings and even make things up. Then we tend to begin to have bitter feelings.
Yet there was something beautiful there that can not be denied.
To live in constant analysis, denial and bitterness can be such a waste of life. There was something there that was beautiful even “if” just for a moment.
I believe it would be better to carry that beautiful memory than to carry bitterness. Bitterness gets in the way of a warm smile and happiness...
Past is history. History can't be changed, past can't be changed. All that can be changed are the possibilities of the future. Why have your future filled with tears and sorrow?
Forgiving and leaving an unchangeable past behind is the only way to move forward.
Rejoin the playground of life. Play, learn, grow and smile...