It's OK to be sad.
Sometimes life throws us a curve and makes us sad. Other times someone does something that makes us feel bad, and we get sad. Sometimes we hear something that brings up past memories that make us feel sad. Sometimes we are just tired and that makes us seem sad to others even when we don't feel sad.
Some can talk to others about what is making us feel sad. For myself and most guys I know, we can't. It's not really that we keep it bottled up inside. More often we need to think about our sad and figure out how we need to deal with it or what it really means to us. Understand it.
We sometimes talk about it after we understand it or are close to figuring it out, but until we are, we don't care for or need any outside influence making our thoughts more clouded.
There are also times you will never hear about our sad. We thought about it and saw that really there was no explaining it and/or it really had no meaning to us beyond the temporary setback. Most times when that happens we don't even remember why it was we were sad.
Guess we're lucky like that and can put stuff out of our minds quite quickly. If it doesn't have relevance, meaning or any bearing on our lives it just kind of flows right out and most likely will never be thought about again.
When someone starts trying to hard and asking to many questions about why we're sad, we get angry. If we knew how to explain it you probably wouldn't need to ask. Or maybe we know how childish our feeling is and we certainly don't have a desire to share that...
Also when the twenty questions game starts we often get the feeling we're in some kind of police interrogation. So unless you want to get us an attorney to protect our rights, don't keep asking.
If we're sad for to long it could be that we're dwelling on something bad. Possibly we're stuck. Instead of asking a bunch of questions to something we can't answer, try just chatting about life and day to day work.
When we guys start getting our minds on something else, we often have a moment that our thoughts magically clear. Then we begin to see and understand what is bothering us. Often when this happens we do begin to open up and talk.
So next time your guy seems down and don't want to talk about it, get him a drink and talk about the day. Just be there for him like the caring being you are and give him time to relax and get to know his problem well enough to talk about it.
But being sad isn't a death sentence. I've been alone for many years now and have had periods of sad with no one to ask. I'm still alive and doing well. So being sad is OK. You will get over it. You will get your smile back in time.
And face it, without sad how would we know and appreciate happy...
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