Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Needy People

Needy people drive me nuts. I'm sure we all know at least one, but I'd almost be willing to bet we all know a few or at least know of a few.

We hear needy people and we just wish they would go away. We see them coming and look for a place to hide or start looking for an excuse to leave...
I'm kinda sure I'm not alone in the thoughts of slapping them and telling them to just shut up. They can be quite aggravating with their incessant need.

You can spend a life time trying to give them advice about ways they can help theirselves, but it never helps... You can do almost anything for them, but it never stops... You can teach them how to do things, but they forget...
You can tell them your busy but they get sad...

I seriously think they just have a need to be needy!

Aww, but could that be the answer...
Maybe they really do need to be needy...

Could it be that they are so lonely that their neediness is their way of being around someone?
Do they lack the self confidence to express their friendship in a better way?
They may not even realize that their acting needy pushes people away...

Some needy people I meet though are just lazy. They'll come around and waste my entire day just chatting. If I ask them to help with the work while we chat, they find an excuse to leave and I don't see them again.
They though are just the few lazy people I know that are needy only for company. Their cure is to find something they like doing and do it.

There are many others though that maybe need more. They need to learn how good of a person they really are, that they are good enough and that they are capable enough.

Teaching that can be done on the sly by helping them to help their self. Then when they do accomplish what they are trying to do, point that out and make a big deal of it. Make them feel more self assured. Kinda the same as working with children.

Nothing helps build self assurance like doing a job and seeing that you can.
But extreme patience will be needed to work with them. They may have come from homes where mommy and daddy did everything for them and they never had a chance to do for theirselves. So they never had a chance to build up their own self confidence.

So smile today and offer to help someone, help their self!


  1. "Nothing helps build self assurance like doing a job and seeing that you can". Too right. Finding that "something" that each person is good at or enjoys, is one of the biggest motivators and a great path toward building self esteem. Great post Ivan.