Your probably not going to like this. He**, I don't! But after years of pondering I do believe it's true. It's not a new idea, I've heard it for years and, ugh, yuk and oh no, here it is in my words...
Could it be why we're alone and hurting so bad...
When sex turns to love...
Relationships that begin with sex are sex motivated.
OK the chemistry is a thrill. Sharing that thrill is great. But, is it trouble?
Sexual desire is exactly that. A desire!
Some desires should be set aside. There have been many people with some desires, that have ended up harming or even killing because of their desires.
Some desires are good. Without them we would be happy to stay right where we are and mankind would still be living in caves.
But, let any desire get out of control and it rules your life. Possibly it could ruin your life.
Sexual desire can excite a person to the point of lust. Lust cares for nothing or no one but itself and it's satisfaction.
Desires for the feeling of belonging will lead a person who's alone to a bar. Then later they desire that buzz they get from the alcohol. If they let that desire get out of hand they become alcoholics.
Desire of food. Let that get out of hand and we all know what's next. Now we hate ourselves for getting fat... Kinda that same feeling we get when we're dumped and alone...
So, if we let sexual desire get the best of us, couldn't we just be setting ourselves up for hurt?
Sexual needs... I guess they do exist. But as an old and dear friend, a wise older guy pointed out to me once. Did you ever stop and think how long you lived before you first had sex? Now don't you think you can survive without now...
It will take time to get over that desire but, it can be done. Or at least you can get to the point that it's much easier to do without. Or, much easier to control the desire...
Take a hint from alcoholics. One day at a time. Sex to can be a habit... To break any habit takes courage and time.
Sexual fantasy. Reading all those hot romance stories, ogling the skin magazines and having little on your mind besides... Just leads you to wanting to fulfill those fantasies and again, getting hurt.
I've noticed over the years that all this just leads to using other people to satisfy yourself. The others in your life can be replaced at any time by any one. If, you find that your getting hurt every time you turn around could it be that you keep giving yourself to all the wrong people...
Just maybe are you thinking that other person loves you too, when really all they want is self satisfaction or have some desire of their own to be a porn star. If even in their own mind...
Relationships started with satisfying those needs, desires or fantasies are not one thing more than superficial. Maybe not meaningfully by you, but is your selected partner on the same page...
More likely than not the moment the idea of love is brought up someone's going to cut and run. All of the sudden one partner finds every fault imaginable in the other and that's it. Goodbye. If they even take the time to do that.
Many times today I hear of e-mail break ups, telephone break ups, or someone just seems to have disappeared, vanished from the face of the earth. I'm sure you or someone you know can come up with many other hurtful, selfish break ups by all the cowards...
It's been said, you become what you do... Now if you keep entering into superficial, get it while you can sex, then are you not going to become a superficial sex object... Someone to be used for nothing else... Can you really expect that someone could fall in love with you then...
Can he look at you and really think love? Can she look at you and really think love?
When the idea of love is entered, can it survive?
Want to find out? Be prepared for the hurt that will likely come and quit puttin out!
Love cares about the other. Love does for the other. Love worries about the other.
Love can not visualize being or living on without the other.
Maybe, just maybe next time you should consider finding love first...
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