Thursday, January 13, 2011

She's a Woman, She's a Human. What???

Heard it said one time, treat a woman like a woman but never let her know you are.

Now I couldn't get that idea.
I was in a bar and didn't know these people at all. Didn't particularly like how they acted, all loud mouthed and cussin like they were to dumb to think up decent words. And dressed like they just crawled outta some maggot infested pile of cow crap anyway, so I never got into that discussion.
But the statement stayed festering in that cobweb filled space between my ears for a really long time.

Like I said before, when you live in the country and work fields you find you have way to much time to think. That thought then turns to analyzing...
Now every once in a while you find you just might have learned something useful...

Something jogged my memory of that conversation and sure enough. I started to ponder it. Now I have absolutely no idea what those others meant or even the entire discussion they were having that brought that statement out. But after a lot of confusion while trying to figure out how you could treat someone in any way without them knowing, yup, another one of those funny little cartoon light bulbs came on.

Women are, in most cases, the softer side of us guys. If we treat them like we treat other guys then heck, they will just be one of the guys. They will never take us seriously when it comes to any relationship other than a friendship.
Now even though they're humans like us guys we already know they are different. They have needs and wants we just can't wrap our little minds around.
Probably almost all of them want us to be the gentleman. And as hard as that is for a lot of us, we in the least, manage. To come close...
Now if we treat her like a sex object... She ain't gonna like that either... If she's the kind we want to take home to mama. Or for that matter, the one you married.

Now I can come up with no possible way that we can treat them like a woman without them knowing, but... What I took away from it...

We have to treat them like we would want to be treated in general. With respect. Not talked down to, but talked to. Really listened to, not just overheard. (Wow, more on that another time!) If we ask them out, we pay. But then again, if someone offers to take us for lunch don't they pay?

Here I go sideways again but, I did have a lady I was dating ask me to a lunch date once. When, after we ate, I started to pull out my wallet she really got a little angry. It was that look. You know the one I'm talikng about. That look that could scare a bear back into it's den!
Found out later it just made her feel good to do that. OK, different for me, but it was fun! And later, well, I don't kiss and tell. But WOW!

Now this goes for you married and unmarried guys both.
Treat her like a woman but treat her like the intelligent, wise human she is at the same time.
Be that gentleman! Not some uncaring oaf who thinks women can't do anything for themselves and can't possibly know anything.
When they speak really listen. Never know, ya might just learn something.
Get to know the person she is. The things she likes and dislikes. Her interests and accomplishments. You may be in for a surprise... She may be, or has come to be, a really interesting person!
For you married guys, she's not your slave to just wait on you. Listen, really listen to her. She has things she needs to talk about too. Be a man! Listen and hear her. Understand that if she wants a fix she'll ask. Show her the compassion and caring she deserves. Give her that hug she needs. But do not forget, she is a woman and a human.

Hey, they get that we're men. But still treat us like humans.
And I'm kinda sure that is a really hard thing to do at times, giving some of the guys I've hung out with during my life...

Ya know, seems to me that it's the guys out there that are after women for only one thing that are the ones who understand this but only use it for their purpose.
So common, give it a chance and you might find out your married to, or out with, a really great and fun gal!
And do not go expecting anything in return!
Chances are that if you start treating her right that she'll take care of that all on her own...

So for today, go, live in love, peace and understanding


  1. I love that a man will take the time to try and teach a lesson in how to be a 'real' man, to other men. If men don't respect woman, they won't listen to woman telling them they should think differently, but they might just listen to another man. And then work on their attitude from there. I mean, respect goes both ways, absolutely, but i love that you wrote this. Thank you.:-)

  2. Your very welcome Tamsin.
    I just hope guys will read and at least think about it.
    So many times I see people drift apart simply because they take each other for granted. The wives begin to feel like a slave instead of the lover and companion they once did. That leads to so many other problems. Divorce in the end.
    So if I can give at least one wake up call...
    It's all been worthwhile.