Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Moving On

Most of the people of the world have something from their childhood that haunts them. Nasty things that were done to them, bad things said to them that left their memories scarred, even some who were abandoned that left them with a hopeless feeling burned into their mind.

These are just a very few of the of some of the things I've heard. I even have a few of my very own, but I've dealt with them in my mind and will no longer bring them up. Over the years I have talked to trusted friends about some while sharing nightmare stories of life.

Sometimes we even had very similar memories and came to terms with them as we discussed them. Many times just sharing hurtful things with a trusted friend helps to release it. In the least I've found that knowing I'm not alone with some has made me feel a bit better.

There were even a few times at some occasions I've met total strangers and we talked. Some things we shared in the course of conversation were then released or at least eased.

Keeping hurtful things locked inside your own mind only allows them to consume your thoughts and they seem to grow to keep your mind filled with nothing but them. They fill your days with their lonely sadness and gloom. They even get in the way of what you want to do.

I am getting kinda old, but I have observed much. One thing I've observed is that anything that has happened or been done or said to us, has also happened or been done or said to someone else. More often, to many someone else's.

That sharing with others is the first step to finding a way to release it so you can move on.
You don't just come right out and blurt your sorrows to someone, but in the course of conversation you get a sense that someone else may have been in the same situation you have. You also hear if they like to talk about others. If you hear that you know not to share your private hurts with them or the entire world will soon know.

Next thing I find works for myself and many others is to begin creating new memories. Good memories, fun memories, exciting memories, fond memories, memories that only come from doing whatever it is you can find you like to do or are interested in doing.

The trick here is to make more good memories than bad. To add more happy memories than you have sad. To fill your mind with more loving memories than cold, icy, hurtful memories.

It's kinda like when you hit your thumb with a hammer while working. The quicker you get back to work and thinking about what your doing, the quicker the pain is pushed to the side. I've spoken with a few women about that and they agreed that it's kinda like childbirth. When that little one is finally in your arms and your mind is on that baby, the pains of delivery seem to be forgotten. Not totally out of the mind forever, but pushed back by happiness.

It's moving on.
Not forgetting the past, but moving on and creating new memories. New memories enough to bury the hurtful ones. Sadly we can never unlearn anything that has been learned. Yet just like that stubbed toe, it becomes a faded memory as your day goes on.

It's not a thing you can do in a day, but a process of adding one day at a time. Often too it seems the evils of the universe will toss in a few stubbed toes along the way just to make it more difficult. Those evils don't want to lose your company. But with persistence, you'll even overcome them and the smile will begin to return to your face.

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