Ever ask yourself what exactly it is your wanting for?
A great paying job with lots of cash rewards. A great place to live and be where the sun shines all the time and it's warm. A perfect someone to spend your life with. Or some thing you believe would make you happy.
If it's a great paying job you may have to accept that it's much like a garden. You will have weeds to pull and toss out on a daily basis. You will have manure in your life that is a must to deal with to have your a happy garden.
I came to the conclusion long ago that great pay was nice, but what I found that was nicer and more fulfilling was a job that I enjoyed doing. One that gave me more happiness. One that I enjoyed waking up to and going to every day. One that made me feel more like I was playing instead of working.
There were still those weeds that poked up, but my happiness quickly got them out of the way.
I often long for a warmer place to be. Especially during the winters! Yet here I am. Just came in from the icy outdoors after unloading yet another load of firewood. Still cold to the bone. Hoping some things thaw...
Most warmer places I've been don't have the lovely mountains that please my eyes and allow my mind to wonder and play. That allow me to go on hikes and play.
Most areas I've visited don't have the climate that makes all the things grow that I like and enjoy growing, as they do here. And there is that heritage of being yet one more in the family tree to be blessed with having this farm.
That does not say though that should I choose I can't find a small place to spend my winters. And that is now in my mind and plans.
The youngest son says he wants to be the next in line to buy this from me one day. He's here and usually in the apartment above the equipment building. It was only because of the winter nastiness coming so early this year that he didn't quite get everything fixed up and I talked him into coming back into the house for the winter and finishing up at his leisure next summer.
Well he can keep an eye on the house when I'm gone like a bird for the winters and come back to my feeding grounds of happiness for springs summers and falls.
My daughter can find someone else to babysit the grandkids who can do as good as or better than I can while I'm gone. When she has a few days off in a row from work they can come visit me wherever I'll be and we can play in the warmth of a warmer climate while sharing the warmth of out hearts.
As for the things...
I have many things. Have had many things. Have junked many things.
The thing about things. At best they only bring a very temporary happiness. Like children with toys on Christmas day. The things quickly become old and forgotten. Things bring along work. Some work is intended as part of wanting them. Some just bring along work by giving you yet one more thing to take care of.
Things are just things. Those that are not really needed just eventually become just one more thing to get rid of.
Ahh, but that perfect someone to spend your life with.
Now there is something to make the mind ponder.
Is there anyone who could be perfect?
To be perfect I suspect they would have to be so much like us they would soon become boring. Then like other things we would long to toss them on a junk pile.
Maybe instead of perfection it would be wiser to find one we enjoy playing with. One who we feel we want to spend the rest of our days playing with and sharing with.
One who has differences we can tolerate or learn to tolerate yet can keep us intrigued. One that can go down a path by theirself and share what we both have seen and learned when our separate paths merge once again at the end of the day. Maybe even not just a day...
I've seen very many relationships die a slow death from strangulation. The need to be together every minute. The failure of one who can't play alone for awhile. Or has fears of playing alone on the path of day to day life, or fears of the other playing without them.
If you can't trust them then why be with them in the first place!
I guess for me there may never be a someone.
One who could tolerate that desire I have to help those I find that could use some help. The lost kittens and puppies. The way I take them under my wing to help heal them. The care and affection I show them to allow them see they are not alone and someone does care. The way and hours I listen to them, play with them until they go on their way down their own paths with a different perspective and renewed hope.
Though it was by no means easy, I've come to accept that.
Like everything I've mentioned here it's just one more choice.
Should you find there is not a smile on your face or in your mind, maybe you should consider a choice of a change.
Ahh, but what does a smiling fool on a hill know : )
Well I do know I'm hungry and about to go into the kitchen to play awhile.