Saturday, December 15, 2012

No Smile

Thursday I thought I had the day off. A day to do only the needed chores then rest and relax. Yah. I thought.
The phone rang, I answered it. Someone was off for their afternoon and asked if I wanted to go along shopping. I still had two more gifts to purchase and needed to get the three things from the grocery store I had forgotten before. So I went.

Spent the entire afternoon and into the evening shopping and walking through malls and stores. But thirty miles from home I managed to run into several people I knew from many years ago when I was still working, had some good catching up conversation and shared some laughs and smiles.

At least before making the trek up back up the mountain we stopped for dinner and I didn't even have to pay. That along with seeing old friends made the trip worth while. Heck anytime I can enjoy a meal without the hassles of cooking and cleanup it's worth the trip!

The trip was made even more worth while after seeing the news on Friday. When I heard the story of the nastiness at a school in Connecticut I immediately lost all Christmas spirit. Every last bit of spirit. Couldn't even post the blog I had planned.

My heart goes out to the families that lost someone in that mess. My heart goes out to all that were touched in any way by that insanity.

When my grandchildren came after school I shut the TV off. I kept them busy by making cookies and playing. I did not want to have them see any of that and then have to get into conversation about something that made me feel so hurt and angry and that I couldn't come up with any way to make sense of.

I don't feel that banning guns is the answer.

How about knives which we all have in our homes?
In China twenty two children were stabbed by some guy with a knife.
Back in June in Boston there were four people that were stabbed.
On December first six horses were stabbed at two different farms.
The first of my family who came from Germany and settled here in this country before it was the US, was stabbed and killed by a preacher with a knife for telling the truth about that preacher to the congregation of the church. That is in the records at the county court house!

A short time back not to far from here some guy was trying to kill his X girlfriend. He lit her house on fire! She wasn't home but he did manage to kill her children in the blaze. So should we ban matches and lighters?

How many people have been killed by rocks over the years? Should we pick up every single stone and rock on the face of the earth and send them into space!
People are killed by pieces of pipe, by being smashed and bludgeoned by pieces of wood. Do we do away with our plumbing? Do we do away with every tree that covers the face of the earth?

There have been angry people who have driven their cars purposely into people, even into crowds of people in an attempt to kill. Do we ban all automobiles?

Look around you. How many things are right there in your room or the room you are in that could be picked up and used as a weapon. Even lamps have been used to kill. Do we ban all lamps? Ban all flower pots?
I read once years ago about someone who was killed when they were smashed in the head with a radio. Do we ban all radios?

Where would the banning end?

There is an old line.
Where there is a will there is a way.
If someone has a will to kill they will find a way.

I blame the craziness on children being left to raise their selves. The many parents who ignore their children and don't spend the time teaching them good morals and how to deal with the things that happen during life.

Heck I don't like change. I certainly don't like the changes that seem to be happening so fast these days! But while growing up I learned coping skills.

We can't in any way teach about every little thing that might happen in the course of a persons life. Yet when we learn coping skills we learn to help ourselves in any situation without going off the deep end and taking others with us in our desperation.

I didn't like to see it but many times I stood and watched as my children failed. I didn't teach them that their failures were the fault of someone or something else. I taught them how to cope with failings. How to think and seek other ways to accomplish what they wanted to do.
Yes, failing at things hurts. But learning to deal with it teaches you to succeed.
Losing hurts. Yet by losing we learn to practice and become better at what we do and eventually if we have the will to win we do!

What we need to do as a “worldwide society” is teach our children.
Teach them coping skills. Teach them how to accept and deal with the bad of life and then teach them how to figure out on their own to succeed.

I did that by suggesting several solutions to my children. Not by doing things for them, not by buying them solutions, but by showing them there were many ways to get what they wanted if they were willing to do the work that was needed to get what they wanted.

I heard it years ago. I pondered it and began to understand it. I adopted it as my philosophy of life.
Anything the mind can conceive, and believe in, can be achieved.”
It's worked very well. But you must work to make it work.

I say all this because what I have noticed over many years of seeing things like these latest killing sprees is that they are done by people who have lost hope because of not having the coping skills and have given up.

I'm not smiling and I'm not looking for a smile today. A smile may come for a moment from something, but I guarantee it won't last for long as my mind goes back to this tragedy.

What I will be doing is trying to spread the word to teach what I feel might help.

Do we need more laws? NO
What we need is people who give a damn.
We need people to care about people and society enough to talk to and try to help people who are down or feeling down.

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