Monday, September 10, 2012

Do I Really Want That

Last Thursday I pulled out the old tomato grinder. It's actually called a Victorio Strainer. It's great because you don't even have to take the skins off of tomatoes before running them through. All I have to do is cut them in chunks small enough to fit and send them through to make sauce. It removes all the seeds and the skins and shoots them into a bowl and sends the good stuff into another bowl or pot.

Then all I have to do is put the sauce in a pot and slowly cook the extra water off until I have a nice thick sauce. I added some chopped basil, chopped parsley and some finely chopped onion and garlic this year. That's where I stopped.

In years past I've added more, but decided it would be a more versatile tomato sauce if I stopped there. Any other things I like to add for different things can be added when I use it.

Friday I spent the day grinding up tomatoes and simmering the sauce. I then canned the sauce in pints this year. It just doesn't make sense to can it in quarts here anymore. Heck it's usually just me that I'm cooking for and so often any extra goes to waste. If I do need more I can just open up more than on pint.

While it was mostly rainy on Saturday I began working on the dining room. I figure that since it's just me and I never use the dining room as anything more than a catch all junk room, I might as well turn it into a sports room. One neat place where I can keep my rifles, shot guns, bow and arrows, all the fishing poles and all the gun and fishing gear I've amassed over the years.

I have about all the guns and poles I'll ever need along with a few I don't need but will keep because they were gifts or are just filled with great memories, so I can build glass faced cases which will display them on the walls and keep them easy to get at when I need to use them. That will keep the dust off of them so I don't have to spend so much time cleaning them when I want to use them!

I'm also intending to build in some shelves and drawers to keep all the accessories in a neater order and make them easier to find when I need them.
Heck I may go and let the kid in me come out and hang some fake fish and birds from the ceiling...

Well I had intended to wait until winter to start this project, but when having so many rainy days lately I might as well get started now.
It keeps me busy and keeps me out of trouble.

So I have two big winter projects planned now. My sports room and I'm planning to turn one of the unused bedrooms into a really huge walk in closet. Wonder if that'll keep me busy over the long lonely winter...

While working my mind began to think about me being alone. I came up with just one more reason.
Seems that just maybe I've spent so many years being hurt and learning to block my feelings or ignore them, that when I want to have feelings I can't.
I just can't fully feel them or express them...
When it comes to more than just friendship I guess I just shut down.

Now I've never pondered this kind of a problem before. Heck I don't even know where to begin to find a solution. But quite possibly I'm just not meant to find a solution for it. I can't help but think that the best for me would be to get back to where I was, being quite content with being alone and just stay there.

I may not have the beautiful flower gardens like I see other places but I have some. I may not be able to grow the fantastic herb gardens I see other places, but I can buy herbs. Herbs just don't seem to like me. I plant them, they come up, they look good and then they just die away...
Guess it just takes more time and work than I can give them. But when other work needs done what can I do...

Right now I just want to get back to laughing and smiling and enjoying life as I was before.
Heck I don't need a partner, I just want. So I have to not be wanting that.

Shouldn't be to hard a job, should it?

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