Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Thoughts While Being Ill

Housework does not do itself.
Neither does a son clean up after himself.

A son can not hear the words, clean up your mess in the kitchen.
A son can not see the messes they have created.

A sons can not follow a simple shopping list.
Say fruit to a son and he hears meat and potatoes.

But they can follow every unintelligent word and motion on U Tube.
And think you are interested even when your eyes are closed.

When not feeling well all food ties knots in your stomach.
Food smells make you gag.

Doctors think all internal things that could possibly go wrong for an old man requires them to suggest shoving something up your butt.
Doctors do not have all the answers.

Doctors love to prescribe the most expensive medications possible.
The expensive medications don't work as well as what grandma made for free.

When your in pain and someone drives you to a hospital, it is impossible for them to miss any pothole in the road.
When illness moves in my humor moves out.

It is possible to live without food for two weeks.
It is not possible to live without coffee for more than a day.

Plain yogurt with a drizzle of honey makes a great topping for a bowl of mixed fruit.
Thinking of perfect foods to clean out the digestive tract gives me headaches.

Severe stomach pain makes my back hurt worse.
When you can no longer lay or sit, standing gets old real fast.

Eating nothing but fruits and salads makes the toilet your best friend.
Fruits, salads and gallons of liquids really does help clean out the internals.

Dogs don't care that your ill, they still want to play tug of war.
If the phone is going to ring, it will do so just about the time your drifting off into a nap.

All pills should be made to taste like M&Ms.

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