Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Gotta Watch Them Words

I've gotta quit complaining.
After getting the grandkids on the school bus this morning I had a fantastic walk home looking at the snow covered fields while watching the beautiful sunrise. There were colors of oranges, reds, purples and pinks with a beautiful background of blue. There were no strong winds to make my walk uncomfortable. Only a slight breeze when I got nearer to home.

After getting home, pouring a wonderful smelling, steamy hot cup of coffee and grabbing a few cookies for breakfast I wandered to my favorite seat on the sofa in the living room. I no sooner sat down than the sun, which is beginning to make it's way north again, came bursting through the window and straight into my eyes.

It was only a very short thought. I was really only complaining a little bit when I told it to get outta my eyes. But it must of heard me!
It was soon disappearing behind some clouds. Wonder why it didn't listen when I asked it to come back...

Wow I guess there really is power behind thoughts and words at least half the time.

Of course maybe again the sun is being like some people.
Once something is said that hurts their feelings it takes a long time for them to get past it.

Often they feel as if they have been verbally abused. Sometimes they have been. Maybe even in their past they were abused verbally and the memories of that linger, making them feel that way from something that is said with no intentions of hurting them.

Maybe they suffer from some sort of depression that causes them to feel hurt from words that are just uttered without meaning.
Does that make them weak? Is someone who is depressed weak? Are people who are influenced by words that are spoken weak?

No, no and no!
They probably have been hurt so badly somewhere in their past that the memories they carry cause them to feel the way they do.

We tend to learn from pain.
When we stub our toe on a piece of furniture we remember and learn to avoid the path that brings our feet near that which has caused the pain. We shy away from those things and places because of our memories of the hurt.

Those deep memories that are very rarely uttered by someone because of past abuse and the hurt it caused, cause us to shy away from the words, things or people that cause us to remember. Seems too that often we can make no sense of the things that happened. When we can't make any sense of it we can't figure out how to deal with it so we can get over or past it.

Just telling someone to get over it, is about the worst thing I think we can do. That would only send them deeper into the depression and deeper into hiding.
Do you think for one second they haven't tried?
It's not being able to make any sense of it that has them confused and trapped.

What I think is a better way to help, is to listen with a very open mind and an attentive ear. But you can't just expect them to talk when you want them to. That will only happen when they feel trustful of you and relaxed enough to open up. So it's best to always keep an open mind and be attentive.

It's also best to always think before you open your mouth and allow words to flow.

The wrong words can cause someone to frown.
It's the well thought out right words that keep others smiling.

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