Monday, February 18, 2013

Enough of this cold, warm my heart

Put another log on the fire and wait for the sun to come out and warm up the day.
There was a really cold blast that came through here last night. Cold enough that the fire in the wood furnace needed tended to a lot more than it got.
I'm tired of firing the furnace! Tired of fighting the cold of this winter. I'm ready for spring and some warm weather to come my way. I want to be done stoking the fire for the year.

Some people seem to like to stoke the fires.
When I no longer have anything to say but instead just shut my mouth and smile, my fires are usually stoked. It's not because someone else is winning the battle or argument. It's because over the years I have learned my breaking point and now know when to shut up.

It's not because I've given up, it's more like I have learned a better way to do battle and can bide my time until I'm ready to do battle. Often I know I will not have to do battle or argue. Time alone will prove the other wrong. I hardly ever say the words I told you so. When that time comes they find me smiling even brighter as I shake my head at their foolishness.

When angry, it's all to easy to say hurtful things that can never be unsaid. Words that will go on hurting and leave lifelong scars. Words that can drive a permanent wedge between two people.
Those words may be pushed aside but will forever linger somewhere deep inside the wounded ones mind.
They may forgive. But there is always something that will trigger the memory and renew the hurt.

The results can be a broken trust. Can be a lingering doubt. Can cause a loss of caring. Can cause a loss of love. Can be the ruin of a friendship or even the end of a otherwise perfect relationship.
I've even known of marriages that have ended over words that were said twenty years ago or more.
There have even been feuds and wars that have started over words that were said in the heat of the moment!

There is a lot of wisdom in the old line, “Always make your words sweet, someday you may have to eat them”.

When in the heat of an argument it's much better to shut up, cool down and think.
Yes, you may make the other person angrier for the moment because you've shut up, but you will not be saying stupid things that can never be unsaid.

Then too are the disagreements and arguments that after they're over and you've had some time to think, you realize just how silly and useless they were. But there are the hard feelings left behind to deal with.
They can definitely be avoided by shutting your mouth and taking some time to think first. They don't have to even happen.

Sometimes it's just better to allow the other person involved in the argument to win. That gives them time to realize the error on their own.
Then there are no bad feelings to deal with and the potential to be friends is still open.

There are some who seem to always be in a bad mood and are looking for a fight. Seems they are not happy unless they are making someone else feel sad.
It's really better for your own happiness and smiles to avoid getting drawn into their self loathing little world.
If they choose to not listen to reason I find it better to wish them a nice day and move on.

Life is too short to spend it unhappy and arguing. It's definitely too short to be making enemies by arguing and fighting.

Let thoughts of spring and it's warmth into your heart and let your smile brighten the days of others.

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